Unspoken (David Budd)
by Riley N. Rogers
Summary: Helena is a childhood friend of David,they had been through thick and thin.One night Dave shows up in the middle of the night at her doorstep, he has nowhere to cky and he had a final fight, she fills out the divorce papers. It has been two months now.Will Dave and Lena be able to face their feelings?How can they handle the suicide bomb attempt?Will Dave put her into danger?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1** **– Next to me**

I paced back and forth in the living room with my cell in my hand. I left at least a dozen messages but Dave's phone was out of service.

"Shit!" I swore under my breath in my helplessness. He and the kids were heading back from his mom, but some idiots attempted to explode the train they were riding. The news was all about it, yet they could say nothing specific except that Principal Protection Officer, Sergeant David Budd was also there trying to solve the situation.

I turned off the telly frustrated as I collapsed on the couch sighing. This nightmare will never pass...

Another hour dragged by with still no news from him. I was about to turn back the tv when the front door opened.

"David!" I yelped jumping up from my seat as I saw him enter. I rushed to him folding my arms around his neck as tears of relief were rolling down on my cheeks.

"Lena" He whispered my name barely audible as he buried his face in the crook of my neck. He embraced my waist pulling me even closer while he inhaled deeply.

"Ella and Charlie?" I asked frowning, pulling a bit away to see his face.

"They are unharmed" He said with a small smile gently wiping the tears away. His fingers were rough but I didn't mind at all, for a moment I leaned my cheek to his palm, closing my eyes.

"I was worried sick" I confessed with a faint voice hugging him again.

"It's okay, love, it's over" He said caressing my back tenderly. "I'm here, my beautiful, I'm not going anywhere" He reassured me as my breathing finally settled back to its normal rhythm.

"I'm gonna make a tea" I released him after a few moment when I felt strong enough and my mind progressed that he's really back. "And you'll tell me everything" I added heading to the kitchen as he could now finally take off his coat.

"Where is Leonard anyway?" He asked casually as I took a side glance at him. I knew where Dave's coming from. They never really liked each other.

"He went home" I answered eventually. "He has to wake up early in the morning" I added explaining, but honestly, I sent him home. I just couldn't stand him around. I was worried to death and he annoyed the hell out of me. But Dave didn't have to know about it.

"A great excuse" He scoffed. "As always" He murmured frowning and I could tell he disapproves our relationship, yet it wasn't his call to make.

I gave him a look and he raised his hands in surrender.

"Sorry, Pipsqueak, but I don't think he deserves you" He said honestly as I just rolled my eyes. If it was him, I'd never date anyone...

"Come on, talk about the incident instead" I took a seat on the couch tapping the pillow next to me. He accepted the offer taking a cup of tea from the table.

"I noticed, something was off as I saw that man earlier at the station." He started turning to me putting one knee in front of him on the couch so he could see me better. "Something suspicious about he acted"

He was good in these kind of things. Afghanistan changed him, not necessarily to the best.

"And as the conductor ran up and down anxiously, I knew it's serious. Turned out there is a potential suicide bomber on the train and since that man locked himself up in the toilet, he was an obvious choice." He said as he took a sip from the hot beverage. I did the same not wanting to interrupt him. "But he left the cabin and he was clear. I went in checking it, and I found the real bomber. His wife. All terrified, but she was ready to push the button of the detonator."

"Oh my god" I cried out horrified. This could've gone a lot worse.

"In the end I managed to convince her not to" He calmed me as I sent him a small smile. There he is, saying it like it was not a big deal.

"You saved everyone on that train, probably more"

"Maybe" He shrugged ""Honestly all I cared about was the kids" He confessed like it was a bad thing.

"That's natural" I ensured him as I frowned. "But you're still angry"

"I'm not angry" He denied it raising his eyebrow.

"Your jaw twitches here every time you are" I gently touched his face in demonstration as his expression softened.

"Know me that well, huh?" He asked enveloping my hand fondly placing a tender kiss on it.

"Like the back of my hand" I told him trying to hide my quickening heartbeat as we locked eyes. His gaze was intense and longing and for a moment I got lost in it.

"They didn't even call in the EXPO" He broke the silence as my mind was working fast trying to understand. "They just wanted to shoot her down, to kill her without a blink of an eye" He explained getting upset again not releasing my hand as now our fingers entwined instinctively. "They didn't care she'd cooperate"

"Assholes!" I barked in disgust. "I'm sorry, Dave" I told him genuinely, caressing his thumb with mine. "I'm so sorry" I repeated it but my voice failed me. I just realized again how close I was losing him.

I cast my eyes down not wanting him to see it.

"What's that, beautiful?" He questioned sensing the tension.

"I was petrified I won't see you again" I admitted it quietly, still gazing the blanket like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

He remained silent for a moment then I felt his warm hand under my chin as he softly lifted it up making me looking at him. His eyes darkened, penetrating me as I felt naked under his sharp, searching gaze.

Then without any warning or hesitation he leaned in sealing my lips with an eager kiss. It was rough, urgent and demanding, like he wanted to posses every inch of me.

I was dumbfounded facing such desire. Did he really just kiss me? But his mouth pressed against mine without a doubt.

My heart hammered in my chest as I froze in place. I couldn't even count how many times I've thought about this. That how his lips would feel on mine, how his gentle caress would awaken all my senses and yet my mind was screaming. Why now? Why like this? He's in the middle of a divorce and I have a boyfriend.

And still, my body reacted instinctively ready to return that kiss.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, Lena" He leaned back before I was able to give in and let go. "I'm an idiot! Sorry." He added jumping up then storming out of the flat.

I was too shocked to act so I just sat there staring the place Dave was sitting a moment ago. His lips still burnt my skin crazy and my heart was beating out of my chest.

I have no idea how much time passed staying there, waiting for Dave to come back.

That's just great! In which universe do you kiss and run? I thought frustrated, trying to call him. Of course, no answer.

"That's very mature, mate" I murmured having enough as I headed to the bathroom. I'm not going to wait for him any longer, I will have a long day tomorrow.

I took a shower then went to bed. I'm not saying I fell asleep easy, but eventually my mind stopped running in circles, replaying our moment with him.

I woke up to a terrible scream that froze my blood instantly. I sat up abruptly not being sure where I am at the moment, then I slowly realized, I'm home and Dave is the one howling. He must've got home late and now he's having a night terror.

I quickly got out of the bedroom hurrying to him.

Ever since he came back from the Middle East, he developed a PTSD. I've seen him like this before more than I would've admitted, though he hasn't had any for a while now. I guess the bombing triggered it...

I entered his room carefully. He was tossing and turning as his face distorted in pain.

"No!" He screamed desperately. He was reliving his worst days so vividly that he couldn't distinguish it from reality. I knew I should've let him handle it, that he most probably won't remember in the morning, but I couldn't. It hurt too much to see him like this.

"Dave" I stepped next to him slowly. "Honey" I placed my hand on his shoulder. "It's not real" I spoke quietly yet confident. "Come back to me, please" I asked him gently squeezing his forearm. "I'm right here with you." I said in an attempt to wake him, but he was too deep.

He realized my presence, but not who I am, which was only enough for him to grab my wrists and pushing me down on his bed tight. He towered over me threatening as his fingers now locked around my neck.

I felt the panic arising in me as he started to clench his fist making it harder and harder to breath. This can't be the way I go...

"Dave" I pressed desperately trying to pull off his hand, but he was way stronger than me. "It's me, Helena" I said with a hoarse voice. "Your Lena. Please. Dave." I begged holding onto my last remaining consciousness as everything went dark.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck" Dave rolled down off me to the ground swearing as I coughed violently. The fresh air hurt my lungs real bad. "Bloody hell, Helena!" He raised his voice angrily. "How many times do I have to tell you, my room is off limits, no matter what you hear?" He asked practically shouting at me. For a moment I stared at him in disbelief then I let rage took over the place of shock.

"Are you for real, David?" I questioned not believing my ears. "Sorry for trying to help you!" I huffed standing up. My legs were still shaky, but the fury fuelled me well.

"Have you even realized, I could've killed you?" He asked not backing off for a moment.

"Yes, thank you, I was quite aware of that." I noted bitterly. I still felt his strong hand around my neck as I was sure it will leave a mark.

We glared at each other, then I decided it wasn't worth it. I marched to the door with a scoff ready to leave then I changed my mind.

"Have you ever realized" I started using his phrase on purpose as I turned back fixing my eyes on his. "How much it kills me every damn time to see you like this?" I finished as I couldn't contain my tears anymore. This whole night was too much for me. First the fright then the kiss and now this? Thank you, but no, thank you...

For a few seconds I just stood there, burying my face in my hands like a little girl, loosing all my control then I felt strong arms embracing me. I didn't have the power to resist his comfort as my sobs made me shudder even more.

"I'm such an asshole" He murmured placing a soft kiss on the top of my head. "I'm so sorry, love" He added pulling me closer. "I was terrified that..." He started but then he bit his sentence in half painfully.

I folded my arms around his neck understanding him perfectly as he rested his head on my shoulder.

"Can you forgive me, my beautiful?" He pleaded but it wasn't necessary. I was never able to stay mad at him for long.

"Already did" I admitted it more lightly.

"Thank you" He mumbled planting a small kiss on my injured neck. He probably meant it as a kind gesture, but I felt the heat rising in my chest not exactly in a _friendly_ way.

Then I felt his lips moving an inch to the right just to repeat it. My breath skipped as he continued like he wanted to heal all the bruises with his delicate touches.

Yet he really should've stopped before I lost control and did something incredibly stupid.

"Maybe you should call sick tomorrow" He pulled away like he read my mind implying my now not so presentable appearance.

"Nah, a nice scarf will do it" I shrugged. Working within Home Security didn't allow me unannounced leaving. If I wasn't dead or kidnapped by aliens there was no excuse. "Julia would kill me, anyway" I added as I've heard her cold, demanding voice in my mind. _Your work is essential here, Miss Osborne. I except you act accordingly next time._ Just because once I was late... "I don't know what would she do without me" I added obviously exaggerating, but Dave remained serious.

"Yeah, can't really blame her" He said smoothing a lock back behind my ear as he caught my gaze.

I was confused. I had no idea how to feel or what to expect anymore.

"Dave, I..." I started but he interrupted me apparently avoiding the topic.

"I can move out if you want, I totally understand"

"What, no" I shook my head fervently. "I'm not going to leave you alone. Period." I declared it. He has been through enough of trauma. He needed some consistency.

"Come here" He sent me an affectionate smile as he pulled me in for another hug.

"Though, you know, you could take a little time off" I started carefully. I was sure he won't like what I have to say. "I know the money is not much, but we can make it with my salary for a while and you could get the help you need." I proposed as I felt his muscles tense up.

"Lena..."

"I know a good therapist who specialised on PTSD." I continued hopefully, but he just pulled away a bit too coldly.

"Which would cost at least half of the money you earn"

"Not necessary"

"What about Vicky?" He kept searching for excuses. "I have to support them, especially that Charlie need a special school"

"We will think of something." I tried no matter what, but he cut it short.

"Sorry, Pipsqueak, I know you mean well, but it's not going to work" He decided as I sighed defeated.

"Alright" I gave in. "There are also a few support groups not so far. Would you, please, at least consider it?" I asked him to make a compromise as he slowly nodded. "Thank you, Chief" I smirked teasing as I felt the pressure leaving.

I knew it's not much, but for a start it's perfectly enough.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 – Lust for love**

I stretch out comfortably pulling the blanket up on me, it is a bit cold outside. I slowly open my eyes as I realize where I am. Last night we stayed up long talking for hours and I fell asleep in Dave's room.

Yet now I was in mine. He probably carried me here and tucked me in.

In contrast to his previous passionate behaviour he hasn't tried anything with me and honestly I didn't even want to find out the reason why do I detect disappointment in my heart.

"Son of a..." I swore as it hit me. _It's a working day, I'm probably late again. I'm so gonna be murdered,_ I thought sitting up searching for my phone in panic, but I found a note first.

 _Relax, you're not late. I set your alarm half an hour earlier._

 _There is a fresh croissant and a double shot espresso on the table._

 _Have a nice day, love!_

 _D._

I smiled like an idiot. I always snoozed my alarm at least three times before actually waking up and he knew it by heart.

I got out of bed checking the clock finally finding my mobile. Dave was right, I was totally in time, I could take a shower and get dressed without a hurry.

 _Thank you, Dave, you are a real darling!_ I sent out the message before preparing. This is gonna be a good day, at least he made sure it started well.

The rest of it though was different. Julia had a bad day which meant we all who surrounded her had even worse. Especially me who was designated to be available to her 24/7 as her personal assistant.

I wanted to visit Dave in lunch break and return the morning favour since our offices were not too far but of course my boss had other plans.

It was already late in the night when I finished and finally could head home. I couldn't wait to change into comfortable clothes and lay down on the couch reading.

Dave was in the living room, deeply lost in his laptop. I greeted him, but he only murmured a quiet _hello._ I raised my eyebrow, a bit warmer welcome would've been nice.

I placed down my bag and walked up to him as he was sitting on the sofa. I loosely wrapped my arms around his neck from behind as I peaked at the screen.

"Why are you searching info on my employer?" I asked surprised as I saw Julia's picture on it. Frankly she was the last person I wanted to be reminded of. He grabbed my hands carefully leaning back to me supporting his head on my shoulder.

"Because she's mine too" He answered sighing. "I got a promotion." He explained. "I'll be her PPO starting tomorrow."

"A bodyguard?" I questioned astonished as he hummed. "Well then, she's one hell of a lucky woman" I noted getting up. I couldn't think anyone else providing more security than him.

Dave looked at me just like he wanted to figure out whether I was teasing or not but I was genuine. Even the though of him being around made me feel safe.

"I'll protect you too" He nodded seriously as I reached my room. It was high time to get rid of this suit.

"Yeah, you'd better" I winked at him now teasing not doubting him for a second. I knew he wouldn't let anything happen to Julia, or me.

A few minutes later I re-joined him with a book as I settled down next to him on the couch.

"So, Mister Budd, we're gonna see each other quite often" I told him cheerfully. With him there it will be easier to make through even days like this.

"Hope it's okay for you" He looked at me hesitantly.

"By all means" I ensured him with a small smile then I opened my book.

It took me only a couple of pages to get more comfortable laying my head in Dave's lap while putting my legs up on the couch's elbow rest.

"You're like a cat, you know that?" He asked me smirking.

"I beg your pardon" I put the book down on my thighs pretending being offended. "I'm not jumping in your lap, purring and rubbing against you with my tail strait up" I corrected him but I regretted it right away. It sounded way too ambiguous.

"Not that I'd mind, love, but I have to warn you, in that case not only your tail would be _straight up_ " He grinned obviously having fun as my cheeks turned bright red. _Very good job, Helena, very good..._

"Haha, funny as always" I bit my tongue as he laughed even harder. I muttered a _shut up_ knowing I can't win then turned back to my story.

Yet I wasn't really able to concentrate. My mind played tricks on me as I imagined the picture of me straddling David. I should be more careful otherwise I have no idea how long I can restrain myself.

"Not interesting enough?" He asked noticing how distracted I am. _If only you'd know, mate..._ I thought, sitting up decidedly.

"I'm going to take a shower" I told him firmly. _A really cold one,_ I added it in myself.

"Do you need a hand, love?" He asked with a smug smirk. He probably knew his effect on me.

"Fuck you, David" I showed him up my middle finger on my way to the bathroom not even turning back as I heard him chortle wholeheartedly.

I woke up early the next morning being excited about the day. Even David was still in his night wear as I found him in the kitchen.

 _Such a good morning view!_

He wore a boxer and a sleeveless shirt which left his muscles reviled perfectly fine. I checked him out trying not to drool too much.

He noticed me passing a cup of coffee.

"And where is my croissant?" I nudged him then I took my mug.

"Sorry, love" He said thinking. "But we can still buy on the way" He answered seriously.

"I was just kidding" I told him, maybe it was still too early in the morning for him to notice my joke. "But you can make it up to me" I raised my brow in challenge as he put down his coffee on the counter walking up to me.

"How about a dinner tonight?" He asked taking my hands in his. "Just you and me. We could celebrate my new job" He proposed as I pouted.

"Ah, I'd love to, but I already promised Leonard we meet up" I explained as he shook his head.

"That's not a problem, beautiful, ditch him. I'll be a far better company" He promised me caressing my cheek with his thumb.

 _Oh, I don't doubt that,_ I thought as a shiver run down on my spine just on the mere idea of spending a night alone with him. But I was wiser not to speak it out loud.

"Sorry, Hun, but I did it yesterday because of work" I explained as it probably hurt me more than him. "Tomorrow?" I asked hopefully.

"We'll see if I'm free" He answered teasing as I delivered a light hit on his ribs. "Hey, alright, tomorrow" He gave in placing a kiss on my forehead before we both started to prepare for work.

First in the morning we had to be in the tv studio. Julia had an interview about the terror attack which David could stop in the end. We were standing at the show entrance, Julia ready to start while David was watching and checking out the environment constantly.

Damn, he was so sexy when he concentrated this hard that for a moment I regretted he's not my bodyguard. _He could do so much more than guarding my body... Shit, Helena, what's wrong with you? You have a boyfriend, remember?_ I tried to shake it off as a disaster sneaked upon us.

An assistant from the crew was careless enough to spill her coffee on Julia. Right before she had to go in. Her shirt was ruined, there was no way she could give a speech like this.

She started to yell with her, as I cursed under my breath, unbuttoning my blouse. There was no other choice.

"Take mine" I told her quickly as I felt curious eyes on me from all the men present while I undressed.

"Little privacy" David warned them in a cold tone that froze the room for a moment as everyone turned away then he almost immediately took his shirt off.

I saw Julia frown as she changed but she hasn't said anything.

"Here" David gave me the cloth as I was standing there in my bra on top. I saw the struggle on his face as he tried not to look. He was adorable.

"Thank you, Dave" I murmured taking it on.

"For Christ sake someone give Sergeant Budd a new shirt!" Julia cried out before she went in.

The rest of the forenoon went by uneventful, well at least there was no more spilled beverage.

Not that it was bad. I loved how David's shirt fitted me, how it caressed my skin, how his scent lingered on me all day. And I could tell, he liked it too. I caught his glimpse a few times as he was measuring me, enjoying the view. And I couldn't help but later in the afternoon I walked up to him as I headed for coffee.

"Like what you see, Sergeant?" I asked quietly smirking at him then I was about to go on, but he grabbed my arm gently yet firm.

"I prefer what's underneath" He lowered his voice too, whispering it to my ear as my body was set ablaze immediately. I probably blushed furiously too. We were playing a very dangerous game in which the borders were so vague I couldn't see them anymore.

"Do you two know each other?" I've heard the familiar female voice as I spun around facing Julia. I couldn't say a damn word, I just stood there like I was caught red-handed. Fortunately Dave was cool as a cucumber.

"Flat mates, Ma'am." He answered without a blink of an eye.

"I see." She nodded not being completely convinced, but she let it go for now. "I believe your relationship, being _any_ kind, won't affect your professionalism" She strongly suggested it as Dave nodded.

"Of course not, Ma'am"

"No, Ma'am" I added finally finding my voice as she looked me up and down before leaving.

I hurried to the vending machine not looking back at David. I really needed that break.

In the remaining hours I attended meetings with the Home Secretary, but at least I didn't have to deal with David.

It was dark outside when we finished and I only had half an hour to meet Leonard. I wanted to say goodbye to the others and rushing home for changing, but Julia stopped me.

"Where are you going, Miss Osborne?" She questioned and I knew it's not a friendly asking. "We have to check tomorrow's schedule, come on" She explained. We had no time for it before because of all the appointments.

She headed to the garage with David following tight.

"I know that such a pretty girl has busy nights, but I'm sure once we're finished, Sergeant Budd can give you a lift." She added and I couldn't decide if she's mocking me, but at that point I couldn't care less. I just wanted to be done with the day.

We checked her meetings and things to do for the next day, working out some scenarios on the ride her home then I waited for David in the car. I was already late.

"Home?" Dave asked as he hopped in after a good fifteen minutes.

"No, strait to Leonard" I told him sighing. Meeting your boyfriend should fill you with excitement and thrill yet I felt drained and it was just another task to finish. _What does it say about us_? The question emerged in me but I had no strength to think it any further.

"Is everything alright, beautiful?" Dave asked concerned after a few minutes.

 _No?_ I thought. _I had a long day and even longer evening and I want to spend the rest of it with you, instead of my boyfriend._

"Yeah, just a little tired" I answered then I fell back to silence. I didn't feel like talking and Dave sensed it perfectly as we spent the ride in quiet.

"Here we are" He told me stopping the car.

"Thanks, babe" I told him leaning closer to give him a short hug.

"Anytime, love" He ensured me pulling me closer. _Please don't make it any harder!_ I wished silently as we parted and I finally got out of the car.

I fastened my steps and quickly climbed the stairs to Leonard's apartment and I knocked on the door.

He came fast opening it up as delicious smells caught me off guard.

"You cooked?" I asked shocked.

"Yes, it might be cold, though" He said as his remark stung bitterly.

"I'm sorry, Julia kept me busy" I answered feeling sorry.

"Sure" He noted it scoffing.

"What's that?" I asked puzzled.

"It wasn't Julia who drove you here" He said eventually feeling proud of himself.

"Were you spying on me?" I raised my voice a bit.

"I was looking out of the window, but I don't regret it, at least I saw you hugging so intimately another man." He told me wanting to make me feel guilty, yet we did nothing wrong. At least not in the car... "It was David, right?" He asked spitting his name like it was an offense.

"Yes, it was David, and I gave him a hug because he was kind enough to drive through the whole city just to get me here as fast as possible" I explained. "Look, I had a shit day, so if you only invited me here to accuse me then I'm not interested" I told him cold as he took a step closer.

"Sorry, Princess" He surrendered. "You're right" He pulled me in pressing his lips on mine as my cells screamed in dissatisfaction. "What matter is that you're here. Come, please, eat"

He showed me the way to the kitchen. The table wad set for two in perfect neat. He pulled out the chair for me then we settled. We started our meal not talking at all. I was still tense a bit and he probably didn't want to push me.

"My god, Leonard, that's amazing!" Then I broke the silence smiling. He prepared Italian food, a homemade pasta with truffle and salmon. He was indeed an excellent chef.

"Thank you, darling, wait I'll bring the wine." He stood up as I took off my blazer. It was getting hot. "That's an interesting choice of shirt" He noted a bit surprised. Shit, I was still wearing Dave's one. As I tucked it in it wasn't clear that's a man shirt.

"Oh, yes, someone spill coffee on Julia before her performance. I gave her mine and Da... her bodyguard gave it to me" I told him hoping I corrected myself in time before Leonard noticed what was I originally saying.

"David is the Home Secretary's bodyguard?" He questioned in disbelief.

Shit!

"Yes" I admitted it reluctantly. I knew he's gonna hate the idea. He was already struggling with us living together.

"And he gave his shirt to you" He repeated it as I nodded. "And you came in that to our date night with him as you chauffeur."

"Leonard" I started tiredly as I saw he was getting more and more upset. "I wanted to be here fast, I couldn't go home to change"

"No, no, I get it, he is your _friend_ , right?" He mocked me. "You know what, no, I have enough of this. I don't want to be you second choice, your plan B or call it whatever you would like." He said it with one breath. "You keep telling me that he needs you, that you don't want to hurt him, well, guess what, you're hurting me." He told me as I felt awful. "You have to choose, Helena, I can't go on like this anymore. Me or him." He gave me the ultimatum as I sat there frozen.

Yet it wasn't a question. Not ever.

"You're right" I stood up eventually. "I was causing pain without even realising it, I'm sorry." I started as I saw hope in his eyes for a moment. "But I'm not going to kick David out of my life, I can't and I don't want to." I told him my decision. "I'm really sorry, Leonard, and thank you for everything" I added not knowing what else to do.

He was lost for words, he was so sure I would choose him.

"I hope you'll find the one soon! Bye." I wished awkwardly before stepping out on the door.

I called a cab, but otherwise I don't really remember how I got home. My feet took me without thinking as I was in autopilot mode.

Everything got so confused. Maybe deep down I knew that Leonard wasn't the love of my life, but still I liked him very much and I did nothing to him except torture. I should probably move to a deserted island and give up the concept of love.

When I arrived home, I was alone. Dave probably went to the gym, he wasn't expecting me home early. Never mind, I can drink alone.

I walked to the fridge and found a white wine. _Well, we were about to drink wine, weren't we?_ I thought opening up the bottle and not bothering with a glass I drunk from it directly. It was good stuff. I supported my back at the wall then slowly slid down to floor. It was cold but I didn't care. The booze will keep me warm.

I think I finished up a half bottle when the door opened and Dave stepped in.

"Lena?" He asked concerned. "What are you doing, love?" He came closer as I just shook my head taking a bigger sip from the wine. He understood that the situation is serious and he sat down next to me. "Talk to me, beautiful" He told me as I heard his voice was full of worry. Yeah, not many times he could see me like this.

"We broke up" I summed up offering him the bottle.

"What happened?" He asked trying to be as polite as he could be not to show me he is relieved as he accepted the drink.

"Actually I broke up with him" I corrected it. "He didn't leave me a choice though"

"Did he do something to you?" He asked me getting tense as I released a half-smile signalling no. He was helpless, always wanting to protect me.

"He made me choose" I explained. "He told me it's him or you"

"Oh" He said that much as for a moment I left him speechless. "I'm sorry, Lena, you really shouldn't…" He started but I cut him short.

"I didn't regret it" I ensured him. "I choose you. I'd always choose you" I admitted it quietly. I had no idea why did I say that, it was probably the alcohol talking. After all, they do say that drunk people speak the truth, don't they?

"My sweet love" He whispered it barely audible, embracing my shoulder as I laid my head on his chest. His steady heartbeat sooth my nerves instantly.

"I love being here" I mumbled snuggling closer. "In your arms" I added just to be sure. Clearly my mind and my mouth had no speedbumps between them.

"Then stay" He said it simply kissing the top of my head as I felt him smile.

We remained there for a few minutes in complete serenity before Dave broke the silence.

"Vicky has someone"

"What?" I asked bewildered as I leaned a bit back to see his face if he's serious.

"I called her on the way back to say goodnight to the kids, but they weren't there." He explained. "She sent them away to meet up with his new boy" He said angrily.

"I'm sorry, Dave" I gently caressed his cheek. I new he wanted to make things right between them.

"It's okay, I'm only upset for the kids" He told me. "Passing them around like this and not even to me or you" He said as my mind was numb. Did he just implied he doesn't want his wife back? My head was spinning. "I was about to move on too" He answered my silent question with a half-smile.

"Do you have... someone specific in mind?" I asked clearing my throat as my heart intended to jump out of my ribcage.

"Mhhm" He hummed approvingly adjusting one of my lock behind my ear. "And I just can't get her out of my head." He confessed as we locked eyes. I probably looked like a deer caught in the spotlight. _Is it possible that he's talking about me?_ I pleaded with a hammering heart as his eyes wandered on my lips then down on my décolletage caressing my skin with lusting, invisible fingers.

Suddenly I got disturbed by the raw power of attraction to him as my pulse quickened with forbidden longing. All I wanted was him, every inch of me lit up with the burning, urgent need to possess him.

He looked back at my eyes for a moment as he leaned closer stealing the distance between us cupping my face with one hand as his skin burnt mine making my breath shallow in anticipation.

He moved his thumb a bit just to trace the outline of my lips with his fingertip. A relived sigh escaped my mouth as he carefully closed the gap between us tenderly brushing his lips to mine. Testing me, tasting me, taking his time to enjoy every second of it. Our kisses were sensual, long and leisurely, we were hurrying nowhere.

He kissed me again and again as each and every one set off a sharp, wild need inside me. He became more and more eager as he gave my lower lip a hungry nibble. I moaned unawares letting him invade my mouth as our tongue found the synced rhythm instinctively.

I run my fingers through his hair moving into his lap as our kiss deepened. I straddled him, my thighs embracing his hips firmly as he smiled, grabbing my waist pulling me harder against him.

"Meow" He whispered grinning into the kiss as I chortled. He was right, now I really was like a cat, demanding all the attention. He didn't seem to mind though.

"I can't risk you run away again" I teased as he smirked.

"Trust me, love, I'm right where I want to be" He ensured me not releasing me as his arms held me tight.

"Beneath me?" I asked stealing a quick kiss.

"Beneath you" He repeated kissing my neck mumbling. "On top of you" He continued trailing kisses down. "But most of all" He started sucking my skin between his teeth right above my collarbone leaving a love bite as all I could do was pressing closer moaning, purring. "Inside you" He finished his sentence with a hoarse promise, tearing the shirt open on me.

All the buttons flew across the kitchen as I yelped in surprise.

"I've been fantasizing about this ever slice you put it on." He confessed. "You are driving me crazy" He lowered his voice discovering all my curves with his hot hands demanding more and more from me.

"Then don't hold back, Sergeant" I gave him the permission he longed with a trembling voice as he groaned kissing me wild with passion. With a kiss that could only had one conclusion...

He slid his hands under me then stood up without ceasing to devour. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he carried me to his bedroom.

He threw me into bed and was atop me instantly as I couldn't help but smile at his urgency. My hands wandered under his shirt pulling it above his head as he undressed me efficiently. He pulled my thong down thoroughly, the last lacy barrier to his lust before he quickly got out of his trousers and underwear dropping them on the floor.

He climbed back on top of me gently pushing my thighs open. He pressed me into the bedsheet even as he attentively pressed himself into me.

I moaned his name in pleasure locking my legs around him to keep him captive as we moved together as one finally unifying in our lusting love.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 - Home**

I woke up to gentle strokes as David's hands traced the contours of my naked body caressing my curves eagerly. An involuntary smile stretched across my face in pleasure.

"So we're not getting a decent few hours of sleep?" I asked teasing with still closed eyes. Not that I minded it though.

"I can stop if you want" He pulled away being completely aware of his power. The cold air hit me mercilessly taking place of his warm touch as I turned to him a bit faster than I should have.

"I haven't said that" I ensured him as he smirked in response now devouring me with his bare eyes, discovering every inch of my flesh. "Take a picture" I chuckled at his enthusiasm.

"And risk that someone else sees it?" He asked shaking his head. "No one can enjoy this view, but me" He told me as I rose up a bit to kiss him.

"Greedy" I smiled against his lips.

"I'm just protecting what's mine" He pulled me closer to his chest as I felt the butterflies fluttering in my stomach wildly.

This was perfect. Everything with him was simply perfect. All the little pieces clicked together just like we've been born for each other. The connection was unbreakable.

"Hmm, seems like someone is a bit overconfident." I folded my arms around his neck as our bodies pressed together.

"One has every right to be so after last night" He answered kissing my nose playfully. "Little _screamer_ " He added whispering to my ear suggestively.

"And I'm not even sorry" I admitted it grinning reliving the memories.

"You shouldn't be" He added seriously "Cause I have many plans for you" He lowered his voice planting a small kiss in my lips making my heart leap in my chest as I imagined the nature of his plans. Then he trailed down kisses on my neck, sensing my throbbing pulse and I could tell he was pleased by my arousal.

He continued his journey down dropping a kiss on my belly as my entire body vibrated in response. He travelled further gently caressing my inner thigh while he carefully positioned himself between my legs. I gasped in anticipation. Every inch of my body was alive with savage energy as his stubble rasped against my skin. My toes curled and back arched giving into the moment with total surrender. Sensation ripped through me, a tumbling wave as his gifted mouth took care of me conscientiously.

DDD

"How will I survive the day without this delicious set of lips?" He pulled me in, cupping my face as I was about to leave. I had to be in the office early to prepare some reports for Julia.

"I don't know, how did you before?" I asked him implying that we only got together yesterday. We locked eyes as I saw real consideration in his expression.

"Honestly I have no idea" He confessed making me chuckle then I pressed my mouth on his as he tightened his arms around my waist.

We were like teenagers who just couldn't keep their hands off of each other. Though we had to.

We agreed not to mention our relationship to anyone. A Home Secretary's Personal Assistant and PPO fooling around… it would've complicated everything.

"Do you really have to go?" He pouted breaking my heart. All I wanted was to call in sick and stay in his arms all day.

"Mhmm" I hummed showering him with small kisses. "But I'll make it up to you tonight" I promised as he leaned in for one last passionate kiss. He claimed my lips like a lover, there was nothing chaste about it. "See you soon, Sergeant" I told him winking before leaving.

When I arrived, the office was almost empty, I could work comfortably. Nearly after an hour I collected all the info she needed and left it in her office. Just about time since the Home Secretary arrived with Kim and Dave. My heart skipped a beat as I looked at him. He was so serious yet a barely visible smile crept across his face as he saw me.

"The files?" Julia asked me without a good morning greeting.

"On your desk in order of necessity" I told her simply.

"Excellent, Miss Osborne" She nodded heading to her office.

"Ma'am" I returned her gesture watching her stepping in and sitting down at her table to start working. She never wasted a minute of time.

"Seems like someone had a great night" Kim noted with a smirk as I met her eyes in panic. We were close friends in the unity of our womanhood. None of us was taking serious when we got this job yet both of us managed to gain respect during these years.

"What?" I questioned with a high-pitched voice.

"Someone got laid yesterday" She explained nudging me as first I turned to pale then immediately bright red.

"Kim" I warned her as I felt Dave's penetrating gaze yet I refused to care about it.

"Come on, Lenie, your eyes sparkle, you smile like a lassie and I'm pretty sure your hair is shinier." She continued as I wanted to disappear right away. Did she really had to say it in front of Dave? I dared a side glance at him, but I regretted it immediately as I saw his cocky grin on his face. "Does Skipper bother you?" Kim asked surprised. "I thought you were friends"

"We are" I murmured defeated and I was about to leave but she interrupted me.

"At least tell me what changed, I thought Leonard wasn't really good at…"

"And that's enough, Kim, thank you" I shut her up terrified. I couldn't believe she did this to me! "Have a nice day" I beckoned to them leaving with a blush as red as a ripe tomato while I've heard David chortle.

I sat back to my desk trying to focus on my tasks but my handsome Sergeant made it almost impossible. He was standing across me a few couple of meters away but his intense gaze still burnt my skin setting me ablaze.

 _Stop it –_ I sent him a text scoffing as his eyes undressed me for the hundredth of times today but he just shrugged pretending not to understand it.

I rolled my eyes deciding to take a break and get some distance from Dave, it might cool me down a bit. I walked passed him but I didn't even glanced in his direction. I've heard him ask Kim to take his place for a moment.

I fastened my steps wanting to avoid him, but he grabbed my arms pulling me into a secluded corridor. My back pressed against the wall as he pushed me up on it boldly.

"What are you doing? Anyone can see us" I hissed looking around.

"At this time of the day no one comes here" He reassured me as I shook my head. "This leads to the smoking area. In these cubicles only Ann and Ron is smoking. Ann was already here a few minutes ago and Ron isn't coming till he finishes his lunch which he just started." He explained fast. "According to my calculation we have a safe fifteen minutes" He added as I stood there half amazed half scared of his ability. "I am observant" He noted as I nodded agreeing.

"And what else did you observe?" I asked him lowering my voice as our face were only inches away.

"You have a small wrinkle between you brows appearing every time you're concerned about something." He told me quietly locking eyes with me. "You press your lips together anytime you want to convince me of something but you already know it's useless" He continued earning my chuckle. It was true. "And even though you're terrified someone might find out about us" He started leaning in, hovering above me close. "It excites you just as much" He finished it as I wetted my lips unawares flaming with forbidden desire. He grazed my mouth with his as a relieved moan slipped my lips.

 _Skipper, Lavender has a business lunch in half an hour, she wishes to leave soon._ Kim's voice broke the moment as she reported via their transceiver.

"Be right there" Dave approved as I snapped back to reality painfully. "I'm not finished with you yet" He whispered into my ear as I smirked.

"I bloody hoped so, Chief" I stood on my tiptoe pulling him down a bit by his tie then pecking his lips teasing before letting him return.

DDD

"That would be all for today, Miss Osborne" Julia told me in the late afternoon as I finished with the paperwork. "Thank you" She sent me a small smile finally looking up from a file.

"Miss Montague" I accepted her dismissal leaving her office. I have no idea when was the last time I finished this early.

"You're done?" Dave asked me as I picked up my coat.

"Yup" I grinned happily. "Should I pick up the kids?" I asked. This day was David's so Ella and Charlie would spend the night with us.

"Yeah, that would be great" He answered smiling. "I'll hurry home" He added ensuring.

"It's okay, don't worry" I squeezed his hand secretly then went in the elevator.

I loved the two little munchkin and I knew them since they were born. I used to babysit them a lot so David and Vicky could get some alone-time.

We finished with the homework and already ate dinner, fish fingers, Charlie's favorite, and was about to go take a bath when Dave arrived.

"Daddy, daddy!" They screamed in excitement jumping in his arms.

"Oh, I missed you so much" He closed them into a bone-crushing hug as they both gave him a kiss on the cheek. I smiled ear to ear leaning against the doorframe. He was an amazing father. That's one of the many things I loved about him.

I let them have a moment then I stepped in getting back to the plan, it was late already.

"Come on, let's go to the bathroom" I told them. "The last one to get there will be eaten by the Tickle Monster" I changed my tone to a deeper, threatening one pretending to chase them as they screamed laughing and running.

I wanted to join them but Dave pulled me back for a moment embracing me.

"I missed you too, love" He mumbled placing a sweet kiss on my lips talking to me without words. This one was different. In the office he was testifying about crazy lust but now… it was pure, more about unconditional love and acceptance.

"I missed you too, Dave" I smiled as he pressed his lips on my forehead releasing a deep sigh then we both headed to the bathroom after the kids.

We did all the evening routine together. Even reading a night tale. Charlie was sitting in my lap while Ella in Dave's. I couldn't stop thinking about how it felt like we were a real family. I would've got used to this every night from now on, I thought as I warned myself not to rush that fast.

"They love you very much" He told me cheerfully after we tucked them in, like he just read my mind while he hugged me from behind.

"The feeling is mutual" I admitted it smiling as I leaned back to his chest humming satisfied. I had no idea what have I done to deserve such happiness.

"But now, Kitten, you're mine" He declared it sweeping me into his arms as I yelped in surprise.

He held me secure as he carried me to his bedroom with a promise of another unforgettable, sleepless night.

DDD

The next morning we dropped the kids off at school before heading to work.

"Everyone else is already in, so you quickly go in, alright?" Dave told them stopping in front of the building, but Charlie started to whimper. "Come on now, Charlie, we had that messing about it at home" Dave told him a bit impatient. "Let's not make it worse, please" He added pleading.

Charlie didn't like school. He'd been bullied all the time. He would've done better in a special school, but it was almost impossible to get in.

"He says they're calling him names. He hates it" Ella explained taking her brother's side as Charlie burst out crying.

"What have I told you about crying, eh?" David now turned to him frustrated. "Never show weakness. They will only hurt you more." He explained as I sent him a glare. "Right, big man, in you go" He told him but Charlie clearly wasn't ready for it.

"Dave" I called him quietly.

"Charlie, in we go, please" He repeated it as he finally got out of the car right with Ella after him.

I sighed tiredly getting out too.

"Charlie, wait" I stopped him crouching in front of him. "I know you are afraid, and you don't want to be here, I understand" I started holding him by his shoulders. "And I promise we'll find a special school for you soon, but for now, can you be so brave and go in with Ella?" I asked him as I saw him consider what I said then he slowly nodded. "That's my boy" I hugged him rubbing his back before letting him go.

"You shouldn't be so hard on him" I noted to Dave as I sat back in. "He's struggling."

"And he will struggle even more if they see him like this, damn it" He retorted me punching the stirring wheel slightly. For a moment I understood his pain. He just wanted to see his kids happy. "I'm sorry" He told me calming down.

"It's okay" I grabbed his hand squeezing it, showing that I'm right next to him as he entwined his fingers with mine. "I got you" I ensured him. "We'll figure it out" I added as he pulled my hand up placing a kiss on it in response.

We spent a few minutes in silence then I decided to cheer up the mood.

"So, tonight…" I started proposing with a mischievous smile "I have some ideas for you."

"Ugh, sorry, love, I was about to grab a beer with Tom" He groaned disappointed. "But I can cancel" He changed his mind sending a longing gaze as I giggled

"Don't be silly" I shake my head smiling. "I'll be waiting for you. In your bed." I leaned closer to whisper in his ear. "With inappropriately few clothes on." I added nibbling his earlobe. "Thinking about you and you skillful hands roaming all around my body" I confessed trailing kisses down on his neck as I noticed his breath became shallow but otherwise he concentrated on the driving. "Craving your talented tongue pampering all my soft spots." I finished him off as he let out a hoarse moan while we stopped at a red light.

"This will be the quickest beer in history" He said grabbing my nape pulling me in for a rough and savage kiss. A kiss which lingered long after his lips left.

DDD

The day dragged by slowly and painfully without Dave's warm, welcoming arms around me. Even though Julia gave me enough work I was hardly able to do it properly. _Focus, Lena, focus!_ I had to pull my shit together if I didn't want to find myself unemployed.

The office was quiet and dark when I finally finished and left, even Julia went home around half an hour ago.

I shut down my laptop grabbing my bag as my phone buzzed. A message.

 _Just finished, sure you don't want me to raincheck Tom?_

I smiled at Dave's eagerness as I typed the answer.

 _No, you guys have fun and let me prepare ;)_

I put back my cell in my bag heading home. I spent the way back daydreaming and reliving the memories of last nights.

I was walking on the abandoned street my heels knocking on the road with a smile glued on my face when suddenly tenacious hands grabbed me from behind.

I let out a short scream before a wet cloth covered my mouth.

Chloroform, I realized struggling to break free, but my attempts became weaker and weaker as I felt darkness persistently creeping upon me. A moment later I lost my consciousness for good.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 - Dream**

My hectic, shallow breathing echoed violently in the air, deafening me completely. I jerked my head around desperately, trying to figure out where I am but it was impossible thanks to the black sack on my head. It was cold. My hands were tied behind my back with ropes and chain and I could feel the icy, wet concrete on my bare skin as I was sitting in a painful position. I wasn't wearing anything but my underwear.

A terrified chill ran down on my spine as my mind slowly regained its full capacity. I've been kidnapped. I was heading home, when someone abducted me. _What is this all about?_ An instinctive thought popped in, but I dismissed it immediately. It _doesn't matter, Helena, you have to get out of here, you can find out the reasons later._ But I had not much time to think. The door opened creaking, making me jump then I've heard a few man talking to each other in a language I couldn't identify properly. It was most probably Arabic.

Panic arose in my chest. _Can it be part of a terror event? But why me?_

 _Come on, Helena, get your shit together and think of something useful, for example how you can escape_.

"What do you want?" I asked suddenly, hoping they could understand English.

For a moment silence settled and my hammering heart was the only sound audible. Then I felt a hard, sharp slap on my face that I lost my balance and fell on the ground. Tears filled my eyes involuntary and I tasted the typical metal taste of blood in my mouth.

 _Just like when I brush my teeth too rough._

"You only talk when asked" One of them told me with a calm, strong-accented tone. Blood rushed in my cheeks not only because of the hit but more for the embarrassment.

Then someone grabbed my arm firmly and pulled me up to sit.

"I'll take down the sack and you read a message to the camera." He instructed me as the cloth was ripped off of my face.

The light made me blind. Spot lamps pointed at me from almost all angles. I could only guess the camera's whereabouts as all my kidnappers were hiding in the dark, I was only able to see the board with the writing on it.

I quickly ran through it as I shook my head unawares. It was about the suicide bomb attack. That it shouldn't have been stopped. That David made a huge mistake and they… I stopped in mid-sentence, feeling helpless and miserable. They are going to set an example for anyone who ever tries it.

I gulped hard. I realized why I'm here and the knot in my stomach grew even bigger. It's a punishment for Dave. They want to deter anyone else to act like him and I already had a few idea how they will do it.

"No" I said determined. "I'm not…" I continued but someone put back the sack on my head from behind without hesitation. I didn't even know he was there, yet I had no chance to process it, I've been pulled up by my tied hands. Up to the ceiling until my legs couldn't touch the ground.

I let out a short scream as my shoulders were about to rip out of its socket.

"You talk." The man who spoke earlier noted it then the door creaked again as he left. For a moment I thought they left me there hanging and I was petrified how I will survive this pain, but I was so wrong. The real torture just begun.

They started to hit me with – as much as I could guess – some kind of bats, anywhere they reached me as I shrieked quieter and quieter with each strike. There weren't an inch on my body that didn't ached and I was pretty sure I've heard my rib crack once.

They beat me until I lost my conscious.

I have no idea how long I laid on the scabrous ground when someone poured a bucket of ice water on me.

I woke up gasping for air, sitting up abruptly, but my side throbbed in pain so bad that I fell back immediately. They jerked me up again to sit. I yelped in agony for which I received another slap just to keep me quiet of whining.

They removed the sack again. The same lights, the same camera, the same board, same requirement.

Yet, the same reaction from me.

I had left a little dignity and pride and it roared inside not to give in. I shook my head with tears rolling down on my cheek. I knew what's coming and I already dreaded it, but I just couldn't read it out loud. Plus who guaranteed they won't beat me to death even if I cooperate?

This time, I lost conscious easier, for which I was very grateful.

I snapped back to reality to a cool, wet sponge cleaning up my skin. I was laying in my own blood puddle, my nose broke horribly, my whole body was covered with bruises and my eyes were swollen.

I whimpered silently as I opened them up. It was a woman. She was wearing a niqab and she avoided my look seeming embarrassed. Not that I could blame her. I must've been a terrible sight…

"Please, cooperate, Miss" She said whispering when she was finished. It was so barely audible that I considered I only hallucinated it, but then she looked at me pleading. And I almost bought it. For a second I really believed she's concerned about me. But no, no. It was only one of their technic, the good cop-bad cop.

Then all the men stepped in the room with masks on their faces.

I flinched in terror. I could feel my wounds flaming up just on the sight of them. I backed away as far as I could but my chains stopped me with ear-splitting clanking. One of them stepped in front of me, crouching down, grabbing my chin to hold me in place as another walked close.

"You know them" The second talked suggesting, showing a picture as he leaned in too.

 _Ella and Charlie!_

"You son of a bitch" I struggled to get free. "You dare to touch them, and you're a dead man!" I let out all my rage. "You understand? You're a dead..." I repeated but I was interrupted again with a hard punch, tearing my barely dried wound up for good. Yet I couldn't care less this time. _How dare he threaten the kids?_

I turned back to him spitting the fresh blood on his face, right in the eye. I was expecting another round of beating, but he just wiped it off with genuine disgust. He stood up ready to leave as he barked something to the other two in their common language.

This couldn't mean anything good and as I looked at the one who now knelt in front of me I knew I was doomed. His eyes sparkled with cruel enjoyment while he eyed me up just like I was only some delicious meat in the market.

He noted something to his partner then they burst out laughing. He opened my cuffs releasing my wrist then he seized them right where it hurt the most.

I cried out involuntary, then I closed my eyes preparing for the hit, but it never came.

"Scratch, kitty-cat, show me your claws" He whispered into my ear with almost perfect English as he pushed me down with him atop. I yelped in surprise and panic.

The other came up to me too, I saw in his eyes that he's smirking, taking pleasure in the view. He told him something as my captor moved back a bit, leaving space for him.

Now one of them was pressing my arms above my head while the other undressed me fully.

What followed next is still hard to talk about. The exact term for it is maybe _gang rape_ , although it wasn't that much of a gang.

They took advantage of me one assisting the other then they switched. Over and over, again and again. At the beginning I fought. I cried, I screamed, I hollered, I kicked, I bit. I did everything possible to stop them. None of it was useful even for a bit. My misery only fueled them as they tried to break me like they would break an uncontrollable horse.

And they eventually did. For the last rounds I was completely numb. I didn't feel anything, I was only a distant watcher of the events, a stranger by-stander. I saw my body from the outside and I thought, poor girl.

Maybe that's why they lost interest. I have no idea, but I remember them leaving me there chatting with each other lightly, laughing like nothing happened as all I could do was curl up in embryo pose and wait for my last sentence in the total dark.

I couldn't even guess how much time passed ever since they took me. I lost my sense of time, every second seemed an eternity. It could've been an hour or a week. It didn't make a difference.

Then suddenly the light was back. Every spotlight, blinding me. I knew what's coming.

When my eyes adjusted to the light I saw the camera and the board. I sat up slowly, each move sending me sharp pain through my whole body, yet I managed to stay put. I must've looked like a zombie. At least I felt like one. Empty. Brainwashed. Ready to comply.

"I'm Helena Osborne, girlfriend of Sergeant David Budd, the person who sabotaged the suicide bomber attempt at the train station." I started to read blankly not even recognizing my own voice. "What he did was wrong..." I continued reading out loud the whole message. All I cared about was that it should end soon.

When I finished, the man who gave orders stepped forward, being satisfied with himself.

"You talk." He nodded considering the topic done then he left.

Not much later came the woman again with clothes and water to get washed. I let her do whatever she wanted as she worked in silence. I was done and I wouldn't mind to die right now.

But somehow the fresh water brought me back to live, at least enough to want to get out of here again. This wasn't over. I wanted to see Ella and Charlie, I wanted to feel David close to me again. I had to survive for them.

I put the chador on me more vividly as the woman left without saying a word this time. My mind worked fast, analyzing the scenarios. They probably still have a plan for me if they kept me alive what's more gave me some rewards. They must think that now I'll do whatever they want without a big fuss.

First I have to get out of this room, to see where can be an escape route. Maybe I'll ask them to use the bathroom. All broken, obedient girl, I have to be convincing. They have to let me, after all they had the willing to make me feel at least a bit more comfortable.

I caught myself being thankful for them in the back of mind then I quickly warned myself. _No, they are not nice for giving you some clothes back and letting you get cleaned up. They were the one who took that away at the first place, and they are the reason why you look like a mess right now. Not to mention all the horror they caused!_

I shook it off fast as I was sitting there meditating. At some point someone has to come. If they seem in the mood, perhaps I can initiate a little talk. Not much, just a small question for a start.

The door opened up soon again. It was one of my rapist. The one who spoke English quite well. My heart leaped in my chest as I forced myself to remain stationary. _Don't show fear, don't let him see how terrified you are!_ I reminded myself as I gulped hard. It will be alright. He's only carrying you food, I thought encouraging as I saw a tray in his hands.

He put it down, sitting in front of me crossed-legged. He still wore the black mask so I could only see his eyes. He examined me thoroughly making me even more anxious.

"Eat" He started pointing at the food. It was fresh bread, honey and some jam. "You need the energy" He added ambiguously as I felt the panic overwhelm my body, yet I had to stay focused.

I started to eat decidedly. I knew if they wanted to kill me they wouldn't use poison.

"Good girl" He noted as I finished it up.

"Can I get something to drink, please?" I asked testing him. I had to know on what terms we are.

He kept silent for a moment, locking eyes with me, but I didn't look away, even though I had to use all my willpower. It was a thin ice.

Eventually he nodded, leaving. I was surprised, I thought he will only order someone to bring a glass of water, but no.

Then it hit me. He left the plate here, right with the butter knife on it.

My mind screamed hallelujah noticing the opportunity, but since I wasn't sure it's not a trap, I had to be cautious.

I casually stood up, just like I'm stretching out my legs, slowly walking around, bumping into to the tray. Then I bent down massaging my ankle (and take the knife, hiding it well into my chador's sleeve) I know, it would've been too obvious for anyone who's watching, but I had to try.

As soon as I got up the man came back with the drink.

He handed me the glass. As I took it, our fingers touched and I got sick immediately.

"Thank you" I released a small smile as I wanted to spit on myself for being nice to him.

He watched me drink intensely then he took a step closer.

"See, I can be nice to you" He added keep approaching as I receded synchronously. What is he implying? "You are quite a prize, kitty-cat." He continued cornering me at the wall. "Last time I had to share you with that dumbass" He explained placing both of his arms next to my shoulders. "But now, we are alone" He added pressing his abdomen to mine.

 _No fucking way!_ I yelled mentally as I realized what is he about to do.

"I want you to see me" He said taking off his mask as I froze.

 _No, no, I don't want to know. He's just taking away my tiny hope that they would let me go sometime. Till this point I haven't seen any of them._

I squeezed my eyes shut desperately, but he just chuckled.

"It's okay, kitty-cat, no one has to know it." He added leaning in. "I won't tell them, and they are not here to see" He ensured me as a sob choked on my throat. It can't be happening! Not again. I won't let it. "I told you, it's just you and me" He ensured me kissing my neck. My whole body tensed up in disgust and nausea.

I can't do this anymore.

I felt the cold metal pressing to my skin securely as it fitted perfectly in my palm, while I acted instinctively.

I didn't care about the consequences, that they most definitely would kill me if they notice, I just wanted him to stop.

I rose the knife briskly and with one strong move I stabbed it into his neck.

Everything happened fast and it is still a blur. I've heard him holler and groan as he stumbled backwards and I saw all the blood oozing from the wound, painting the clothes and then the ground in crimson.

He cursed pressing his hands on his neck as I bypassed him in disbelief. I staggered right to the door. It was open, I guess he didn't thought he should close it.

I had no idea what's wanting me on the other side, but I had to keep moving.

Yet, he was right. It really was only him and I. I hurried through the corridor and open the front door of the facility.

I will never forget the smell of fresh air filling my lounges again. I was free.

The people on the street avoided me from a safe distance. I shouldn't be so surprised though, I was wearing a chador and my face was beaten beyond the point of recognition.

After a few minutes of wandering I realized where I am and I finally managed to find a precinct. My steps became lighter and lighter as I entered. Now I really was safe.

I was sitting on a chair staring blankly in front of me, lost in thoughts. I already got a new set of clothes. Not that it improved my state that much. Now that I wasn't in immediate danger, all the injuries and wounds ached beyond being able to bear, especially my ribs. And my thoughts... They were chaotic as ever. The fresh memories replayed in circle, flashing in front of my eyes. I was kidnapped, beaten, raped, broken. And his blood everywhere... What if I killed him?

"She refused medical attention." I've heard one of the officer saying. "She refused basically anything. She haven't said a word, just kept repeating your name, sir, I'm sorry" She added as I turned to their direction snapping back to reality.

 _Dave!_

I jumped up so fast that I almost lost my balance. Tears were rolling down on my cheeks and as I threw myself in his arms I was already sobbing frenziedly. His arms wrapped around me instantly enveloping me in warm safety.

For long minutes we just stood there like this until I finally calmed down a bit.

"Lena" He whispered my name sighing, relieved then he pulled away a bit, cupping my face. "What have they done to you?" He asked quietly in terror as he gently caressed my bruised lips. I shook my head repressing a weep as he slightly nodded, pulling me back to him. I felt his muscles tensing up hard as his whole body was shaking in anger and frustration. I stroked his back tenderly as I cuddled closer, desperately wanting to believe that it's over and I'm truly in the safest place possible.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – Take me home**

I was laying in the hospital bed, staring up at the ceiling. They did all the necessary examinations. One broken, two fractured ribs, vulva contusions, minor lacerations of the vagina and uncountable other bruises all over my , I was lucky. It could've been so much worse.

They took a sample of the remained semen for DNA identification. I knew this was important but those checking involving my pelvis were the worst of all.

They also offered me an emergency contraception pill – which I accepted immediately, there was no way getting pregnant like this - and they informed me about the possibilities of STDs and gave me an appointment two weeks later for testing HIV and other serious infections. Let's just say, my mood wasn't the happiest ever, even though the stuffs were very nice and tactful.

David was with me all along, wherever he could, guarding me like I was the most precious thing in earth. He only stepped out of the room for talking to the police officers. They wanted to record my statement, but after his firm disagreement, they backed off, allowing me to do it tomorrow.

"Is everything alright?" I asked him as he returned. He seemed zoned out, lost in thought, which was normal I guess, but it was worse than before he left.

"Yeah" He nodded taking a seat next to my bed. He held my hand, caressing it, but he wasn't present.

"Come here" I told him, gently pulling him closer as I carefully moved to the right side of the mattress.

"You should rest" He warned me, not wanting to accept my offer of the other side.

"I am resting" I ensured him pleading.

"Comfortable" He differed, slightly rolling his eyes. It was indeed a small place for two, but I just needed him like the air I breathed.

"The only way to feel at least a bit comfortable is to hear your heartbeat and feel your chest rise and fall" I confessed quietly as I saw his expression soften.

"Lena" He whispered my name heartbroken, realizing my state as he laid down next to me right away. I found the position to place my head on his chest as he embraced me securely. My ribs hurt with every breath, my pelvis throbbed synchronously with my pulse, kept reminding me of all the horror I've been through. Yet, being enveloped in Dave's arms, I knew I'll make it. The pain would fade eventually and there would come a day when it all will be only a vague nightmare.

I told him everything. Well, I didn't share all the details, I wouldn't torture him with it, but he knew about all the significant incidents. He was shaken, of course, but the silence he developed ever since he came back worried me more.

"Dave, talk to me, please" I asked him getting anxious. What if he disgusts me? What if he thinks I'm not worthy anymore? Am I a disgrace to him? All the thoughts circled in my mind, louder and louder, screaming in doubt. "Are you mad at me?" I questioned. My voice failed me as the tears choked on my throat.

"My god, Lena" He snapped back instantly, terrified. "How could I possibly be mad at you, my love?" He asked softly, turning to face me, like it was so absurd. And thinking back, it truly was. But right there I was lost and confused, not knowing what to expect from the world anymore. "I'm sorry if I ever gave you the impression of being angry with you" He started cupping my face with his warm palm. "If I'm furious with anyone then it's me, myself. I'll never forgive letting it happen to you" He explained pressing his forehead to mine, also fighting with tears.

"Dave" I breathed it barely audible. "Please, don't do this to yourself" I run my fingers through his hair pulling him closer. "It's not your fault, it is those sick bastards' who thought they can do this to another person, they are not even human." I tried to convince him as he slowly nodded. Yet I had a feeling he only did that to calm me.

I curled up next to him as much as I could without causing too much pain as he stoked my forearm, drawing different forms invisibly on my skin.

"They brought in a man. Penetrating neck trauma." He said after a few minutes. "The police found him in the location you gave." He added as my heart leapt, skipping a few beats. "He is the one ..." Dave started questioning, but just couldn't make himself finish the sentence.

I got him though as I just nodded, gulping hard, confirming his theory silently.

I felt all his muscles tensing up, ready to jump while his heart hammered in his chest filled with rage.

"Don't do anything stupid, please" I asked him sensing the stress overwhelming him.

"I wouldn't call it stupid" He murmured under his breath.

"Dave" I entwined my fingers with his, squeezing his hand lightly. He let out a small scoff, but eventually he gave in, easing a bit.

I sighed relived, yet I couldn't dismiss the disturbing thought of the back of my mind. My rapist was only a few rooms away..

"I'm not going to let him touch you ever again." David said reading me perfectly. "I'm right here, love, you can sleep" He pressed an affectionate kiss on the top of my head as I released a half-smile, nuzzling in the crook of his neck.

Dave spent the night with me and the stuff let him. Not that they had too much option, he was quite determined.

For now, I slept like a log, without dreams, yet I haven't kid myself, I knew it will be worse.

In the morning I had to toss him out for work even though I felt like shit. The pill I took last night, kicked in, making me nauseous. I had a migraine and cramps in my abdomen.

Vomiting sucks, but throwing up while you have injured ribs... it was one hell of a ride. At least brushing my teeth felt good...

I came back from the bathroom, moving slow and careful as I saw Dave sitting on my bed, with flowers in his hand. Pink lilies! My favourite.

He was smiling, but as he noticed my condition, he frowned standing up immediately.

"Lena, are you alright?" He hurried there, supporting me back to sit down.

"Peachy" I noted fighting the urge to puke again. "What are you doing here?" I asked trying to distract myself.

"They put me back to administration" He shrugged, placing the smallest flower behind my ear as I chuckled quietly. He knew how much I loved them.

"And you decided to sabotage it?" I asked smiling.

"Paperwork was never my strongest suit" He explained. "I requested a few days off" He continued embracing my shoulders. "At least I can help you to recover" He ensured me, kissing my cheek.

I'd love to ask about his plan on that, but there was one thing that bothered me more.

"Why did they suspend you? I mean, you didn't do anything wrong."

He didn't answer me immediately.

"They consider me as a threat." He said eventually. "They know you've been kidnapped because of me." He gave the reason as I raised my eyebrow. "The police found a video in the warehouse where you've been kept..."

"The tape" I whispered in horror.

"Mmm" He shifted uncomfortably.

"Have you seen it?" I asked in high-pitched voice as he looked at me, apologizing. "Of course you have" I hid my face in my palms feeling destroyed. He will never treat me again, like he did before.

"I'm sorry, love" He told me genuinely, swiping my ponytail aside then he pulled me closer to him. "You are the bravest person I've ever known" He lowered his voice as I laughed out loud almost hysterically.

"You mean pathetic?" I asked with full of hatred. "I confessed, David. I talked. They broke me, I did what they wanted. Fuck, I would've done anything they wish at that moment, just to stop the agony." I basically yelled at him. I was so frustrated, so helpless. I thought much more of myself, yet I tweeted like a little bird. I was weak, not brave. "Do you have any idea what's it like?"

The question slipped through my mouth without any filter or second thought and I regretted it right away. If someone knew what I was talking about, it was him.

"Shit, David, I'm sorry" I shook my head in disapproval. "I didn't mean, I just..." I mumbled defeated. I wasn't myself.

Yet he only sent me a kind smile, lifting my chin up so I looked him in the eye.

"That's okay, love. Let it all out" He said wiping my tears away. I didn't even noticed I was crying. "It's tough and I'm not going to lie, getting over it will be even harder" He told me in a calm tone. "But I'm gonna be here with you. All along. We are gonna get through this together, darling" He caressed my cheek with his thumb. "I promise" He added leaning in, tenderly grazing my lips with his. I closed my eyes relishing his soft touch even though it was only a fragment of a moment. He pulled back after a second. "Okay?" He wanted to make sure.

"Okay" I nodded, pressing a small smile then I cuddled to his chest inhaling his scent deeply. I had no idea what would I do without him.

They released me from the hospital after a couple of days. My ribs needed at least six more weeks to heal properly, but it could be done home. I just had to make sure that I cough regularly, walk enough and go back if I notice anything strange, even it doesn't seem related to the injury.

Slowly my life turned back to normal. I told the police everything I knew, I identified the wounded man in the hospital as my rapist, the investigation was going on.

David kept his word. He took two whole weeks off from work and stayed home with me, making my every wish for his command.

All was good. Except the nights. At almost every one of them I woke up in cold sweat, panting, gasping, crying. Sometimes screaming. Relieving the time they held me capture.

Dave urged me to visit at least a counsellor about it, but I always declined, offering him the same. I promised him that I would go, if he does as well. Usually the argument stopped right here. Not that I really wanted to attend any therapy. It will go away eventually.

I guess we must've looked a quite miserable couple. Both needed a help yet none of them was willing to admit.

"Are you sure, you'll be alright?" He asked as he was about to leave for work. These few days were heaven, but I knew he has to get back.

"For the hundredth of times, yes." I smiled at him encouraging as I fixed his tie. "Anyway, soon I will join you." I added cheerfully. The doctor said, next week I can start work again. Lifting heavy, or exercising was still off limit, but it was important not to stay in bed for too long.

"I'm gonna miss you like hell" He told me pulling me close by my waist. I stood on my tiptoe rewarding him with a leisure kiss.

Nothing happened between us since the incident. Not counting the kisses and caresses, of course. He didn't tried anything, he didn't want to rush me for which I was thankful, but as our lips met each time, I felt the warm feeling of desire building up in my body more and more demandingly.

He intended to step back, just like every time we would've gone too far, but now I didn't let him. I grabbed his tie playfully pulling him in as our mouth devoured each other fiercely.

I bit his lower lip in the burning, consuming flames as he let out a husky moan. That little gesture itself drove me crazy. I had no idea whether my body was ready or not, but my soul craved this man unbearably for sure.

"Lena" He gently pushed me back a bit. "We should stop" He told me not really convincingly, but I got a grip. We weren't teenagers, we could control ourselves. I guess.

"Right, work" I nodded shaking my head. I'm gonna be thinking about him all day, I already knew that much.

"Yeah, that too" He pressed his forehead to mine closing his eyes. He was trying to regain his willpower. "I still think you should recover better before..." He bit his tongue hesitantly.

"Before you fuck the hell out of me?" I joked suggesting, trying to release the tension as he chortled wholeheartedly.

My mission was successful.

"Something like that" He agreed with a genuine smile, cupping my face. "You have no idea of the power you have over me, love" He told me in disbelief. "But I want to do it right" He explained honestly.

"Alright, Mr. Budd, but you have to add me on your to-do-list pretty soon" I teased him pecking his lips as he groaned.

"Do you really have to constantly make it hard for me to behave when I'm with you?" He asked rhetorically as I grinned.

"Oh, but you know, I like it hard" I lowered my voice, whispering it to his ear as my hand found his soft spot quickly, right where he ached for me the most.

For a moment he gave in for the pleasure grabbing my hips, pressing his lips on mine eagerly. It was a brazen kiss that held nothing back, his mouth commanding mine to obey as he pushed me against the wall firm yet tender as ever, being careful not to hurt my ribs even a bit.

He was unbelievable. He knew every inch of me and he could play me like an instrument he practiced in his whole life.

"You naughty little thing" He told me smirking, panting, after a god few minutes of making out. "But now I really have to go" He said as I pouted looking at him with my best puppy eyes as he chuckled. "I'm gonna make it up to you, my beautiful" He promised, giving me a quick forehead kiss before actually leaving for work.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – Earned it**

I sat down on the bed sighing. I just finished talking with Dave on the phone, as usual in the evenings. I was happy he got back his job as a PPO, of course, but being away from me for a week, it sucked. I folded my arms around my chest huffing– then I regretted it immediately as my ribs reminded me I should be more careful. I loosened the grip right away.

 _Why was Julia so keen about David? Why couldn't she wait with this stupid campaign trip till I got back too_?

The questions emerged in my mind as I shook my head sulking. I was acting childish, I knew, but in my defence it's been five days already without him and my whole body ached because of his absence.

Without his comforting presence the nightmares were worse than ever. I dreaded to sleep and most of the times I was laying awake waiting for the first rays of the sun.

I wasn't alone though. Dave insisted I join Vicky and the kids at the safe house until he comes back.

 _Just another day, Helena, you can do that._ I tried to encourage myself while I wondered how many days a person can go on without a proper sleep.

I get more comfortable with a book. Somehow I had to spend these lonely hours...

I can't recall how long I was reading or when did I doze off but my phone snapped me back. I quickly grabbed it checking the screen still in half-asleep.

"Dave?" I picked up concerned. We already said goodbye for the day, why was he calling?

"Lena" He said relieved. "I'm sorry, love, were you sleeping?" He asked as I frowned. I highly doubted, that's the reason he dialled my number.

"Kind of, but don't worry" I admitted it shaking it off. "What's wrong, babe?" I questioned as he fell silent for a second, hesitating.

"Nothing" He answered eventually yet not too convincingly. "I just wanted to hear your voice" He added more genuinely.

"It's okay" I intended to calm him. "You can talk to me" I told him making sure he knows, I'm listening.

Another set long seconds of silence. Then I've heard something which was like a small gasp.

"I love you so much, my beautiful" He confessed. His voice was full with emotions, failing him as he bit back a cry.

Now I really was freaking out.

"I love you too, honey" I ensured him softly as a sudden urge to embrace him overwhelmed me. "But you're not the one to speak like this" I continued.

Don't misunderstand, I never doubted his feelings, he was clear about them, he was even a helpless romantic in his own way, yet he was a man of actions not words.

"What happened?" I asked fearfully, yet no answer. "You're scaring me"

"Nothing" He said it now quickly as I knew he's most probably shaking his head fervently. "For real." He added trying to reassure me. "I just…" He started taking a deep breath. "Miss you too bad" He finished it defeated as I bit my lip, closing my eyes repressing my tears.

"I know" I started. "But tomorrow we'll meet, it's not so long" I attempted to cheer him up. I was sure that something is up, something is not right, but I also knew he's not going to tell me at the moment.

"I'm not sure" He told me reluctantly. "We arrive home very late" He explained as my heart sank. It seemed to me more like a convenient excuse, but probably I was just on the edge and imagining things.

"Alright" I accepted it eventually not having any idea where to put this conversation.

"I'm sorry, love" He told me with a hint of guilt as I raised my brows. What's going on? "Sleep well, my beautiful" He said after a moment.

"Yeah, you too" I answered distantly as we hung up.  
What the hell was this about?

Needless to say I haven't slept a minute that night. Dave was so wierd that my mind created countless resosns why did he act this way. The more I thought about it, the darker and more desperate ideas poped up. It was driving me crazy. I wanted to see him right now, yet according to him it won't happen anytime soon.

The whole next day was spent in constant worrying and him not calling didn't helped either. We only exchanged a few texts. He said he's busy because of the importance of the meeting the Home Secretary is attending, but it was bulllshit. He always found the time to talk to me even if only for a moment.

I also asked him to see me tonight, no matter how late – sleeping wasn't really a tempting option anyway – but he kindly yet firmly refused again.

"Shit, David" I murmured under my breath dropping my phone on the bed. I tried to call him one last time, but his cell was out of service.

I knew how he worked, I had to be patient with him. There was no way forcing anything out of him just when he was ready to confide me in by himself, yet it was nerve-wracking.

I took a shower and prepared for the night, deeply lost in thought. There was nothing to do about it now, I had to admit it reluctantly.

 _I wish I could understand you._

I let the water run for long minutes, caressing my skin, washing away my doubts. The sound of it soothe my nerves as I took my time. Everyone else was sound asleep, I didn't have to worry about them or about using all the hot water.

After I finished I rubbed the towel over my body, drying myself up then I slipped into my nightgown.  
 _It's going to be a long night for sure, but tomorrow he won't have anywhere to hide._ I tried to keep the spirit in me as I went back to my bedroom.

I took one last desperate glance on my phone, but of course, nothing. I scoffed blaming myself for still hoping as I was about to hide under my blanket, burying myself in self-pity when I've heard a knock on my door.

My heart fluttered in my chest.

Silly heart, you know it's most probably just Charlie. He came to me when he had a bad dream or he was simply feeling anxious because of school.

I stepped to the door releasing a sigh then I opened up. My heart skipped a few bits then wanting to compensate, started to hammer furiously.

It was Dave. He stood in front of me like a fragile mirage. Time seemed stopped as we just stood there, staring at each other. His gaze was intense, burning with full of regret.

I let out the breath I was holding unconsciously. I was relieved. Whatever happened, it was over. At least he moved on to the point of not clamming up, avoiding me anymore which was a good sign.

He seemed lost, not knowing what to do, or rather what dare to do as I saw genuine fear glimmering in his azure eyes.

I stepped closer with a light smile then I carefully folded my arms around his neck, embracing him warmly. He was back. Eventually he managed to beat his instinctive reaction of shutting me out and that was enough for me now.

For a moment he tensed up, but then he almost immediately hugged me back, burying his face in the crook of my neck, tightening his arms around my waist. He inhaled deeply, with each breath becoming more and more relaxed.

I was gently stroking his nape, playing with his short hair as a quiet, satisfied groan escaped his lips. My pulse quickened reacting to his pleasure and closeness.

He leisurely nuzzled my neck, inch by inch taking in all the sensation as I slightly tilted my head to the side leaving him more space.

My breathing was erratic as he reached my ear, nibbling it with repressed hunger. I gasped feeling his undeniable desire building up as our faces were only inches away.

Our noses touced as he hesitated for a second, his warm breath whispering over my lips promisingly then he brushed his mouth to mine.

I sighed longing as he slowly let himself go with all his passion, kissing me more fiercely. I lifted up on my toes as my hands tangled in his hair, clasping him closer.

Our tongues entwined, moving together in unison, sending the old, familiar shiver coursing through me.

He easily lifted me up stepping into my room. I wrapped my legs around his hips as he carefully kicked the door closed behind himself while not ceasing to devour me for a second.

My back hit the wall softly as Dave pressed me against it. His mouth then trailed my neck, down to my collarbone, wandering languorously to the hollow of my throat, savoring my bare skin. Desire was thick on my tongue as I moaned quietly, begging for more. He made a wholly sensual sound, a low rumble of pleasure as his demanding mouth returned to mine.

I tightened my legs around him, pulling him closer as the flames of lust kindled between my thighs tingling. My hands found a way to the buttons of his shirt without looking and undone them fast, pushing it aside, letting it fall to the ground. I stroked over his chest, he was still wearing his kevlar vest. Somehow even this small fact thrilled me as I took it off of him.

He let me undress him as he stripped off my nightgown of my blazing body then he carried me to the bed, his palms roaming over me. He set me down gently as he pushed down his jeans and underwear, the buckle of his belt clinking as it hit the floor.

He then climbed atop me guardedly, like a hunter not wanting to scare the pray away. Not that it was the case. Being scared was the last thing I felt...

I bit my lower lip seducing, sending him a teasing half-smile. He stroked over my legs reaching for the apex of my thigh, his fingers moving affectionately as I spreaded them for him invitingly.

He didn't think twice as now we were only skin on skin. I felt the rough heat of his hands on me as the length of his body burned mine with a shared and searing urge.

My breath hissed as he gently entered, a sound of half-pain, half-pleasure. He stopped immediately, wanting to pull away, but I didn't let him. I knew I just needed a little time and the pleasure would surpass the pain. I arched my hip to meet him, guiding him in deeper.

I was right. It only took a few measured thrust, and my body was awash with overlapping waves of satisfaction.

With every whisper, every groan, I made myself his more than ever.

Kissing open-mouthed, panting, fingers entwined painfully tight, we moved together to the raw rhythm of desire.

I moaned his name with a hoarse voice as he gritted his teeth all his muscles tensing up while eventually we both came hard, fuelling each other's climax.

"Let's face it, sex makes life a lot more fun" I noted smirking as I turned to Dave in the morning. We fell asleep in each others arms and in complete satisfaction. "At least these _I missed you_ nights are worth the wait for sure." I added feeling I'm on cloud nine.

"Couldn't agree more" He gave me one of his charming smile as he pecked my lips. "Are you alright?" He then asked seriously. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" He looked me in the eye being genuinely concerned.

I shook my head placing a playful kiss on his nose.

"Don't worry, Sarge, it was more than perfect." I ensured him. With this evening he brought me back to life. "I'm gonna take a shower" I added as I saw a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. I knew he most probably would join me if we were at home, but here, we had to be careful.

The kids were overjoyed as they realised, David was here. They jumped on him trying to tackle him down as I giggled at their enthusiasm. I watched him playing with them as a fond smile crept across my face involuntary, warmness filling my chest. I loved how affectionate he was with Ella and Charlie, I could never get bored of this.

Suddenly an eerie feeling of someone staring at me took me over. I looked around and noticed Vicky watching with a knowing half-smile. I blushed instantly like a child caught red-handed even though I haven't done anything wrong.

I cleared my throat heading to the kitchen, preparing the breakfast as I've heard footsteps behind me, yet I ignored it, heading to the counter.

"So you and David..." Vicky started eventually as she decided not to wait for me to turn around any longer.

My hands stopped in the air almost dropping the plates I took out. It was worse than a confession.  
 _What will she think? What if she still has some feelings for him?_

"And here I thought we were quite discreet about it..." I murmured quietly. It was no use to deny it to her, although my heart raced in my chest horrified. Technically they are still married with two adorable children.

"You are" She said ensuring, stepping closer. "I just know you two too well" She placed her hand on my shoulder making me face her. "I'm happy it's you" She told me honestly. "You can balance him more than I ever could" She explained with an encouraging smile as I let out a relived sigh. _Is it possible that she's really not angry?_

She grabbed the bread and some pastry, returning to the others as I stood there dumbfounded. She turned back from the door and zipped her lips winking, a promise that our secret is safe with her.

"I'm sorry this weekend hasn't turned out as expected" David said as now we both were preparing for the work on the Monday morning. We planned to spend the two rest days at home, just us to catch up with the lost time, but Ella and Charlie asked us to stay with them.

"Are you kidding?" I turned to him drinking up my coffee. "I had the best time" I reassured him genuinely. We went to the zoo and had a picnic at the park, joked around a lot, it was really relaxing.

He stepped close to me, his expression softened as he pulled me in playfully.

"Are you sure?" He asked teasing, wrapping his arms around my waist loosely as I hummed. "Shame, I was about to make it up to you tonight" He noted it smirking smugly as I chuckled.

"In that case I'm very offended" I changed my mind as he placed a soft, sensual kiss on my lips, I barely could finish my sentence. "You know, I don't mind being late a bit" I gave a breathy little moan in anticipation as he grinned against my mouth.

"Tonight, you are mine, I promise" He whispered into my ear then left me like this to get dressed.

"I hate you" I told him groaning as he turned around fast, grabbing my hip with one hand, my nape with the other, sealing my lips with a passionate kiss. My legs went weak and I probably would've melted at the spot if he hasn't held me so secure.

"No, you don't" He added cockily, smirking as I tried to get myself together. I wanted to be angry with him, teach him a lesson, but I couldn't. He was so arrogant now, but it suited him too well to ruin it.

 _Patience, Helena, patience. The night is only a few hours away..._

Yet patience wasn't my strongest suit. Time at the office was dragging even though a lot of people came checking on me. Even Julia was nicer than usual. But none of it mattered as long as I had Mr. Temptation himself in front of me.

We exchanged a few heated glances before a silent agreement had been made. Meet at our secret place.

I saw him leaving his post asking Tom to keep guard then I followed him a bit later. As I turned the corner, Dave grabbed my waist and pull me in. I almost yelped in the surprise of his eagerness as he pressed me against the wall.

"Do you really have to make impossible for me to work?" I questioned quietly as he hummed, pecking my lips not being bothered about my complain at all. "Your lingering eyes are too much of a distraction and your thoughts are roaring" I explained with a small gasp as his clever mouth travelled down my neck.

"Oh, you think you know what's in my mind?" He asked finally taking a short break from my torment.

"It's not so hard, you know..." I noted as he smirked.

"Is that so?" He started challenging then he leaned in nibbling my ear playfully. "If you could truly read my mind, love, you'd be having an orgasm right now."

He whispered lustfully as I groaned in frustration. Now I had to spend the whole afternoon in complete arousal...

He was impossible, but two could play this game.

I turned the tables taking control, switching positions as now I was the one who pushed him to the wall.

"You're gonna pay for this" I warned him determined as I saw yearning in his eyes as he enjoyed the new situation but I couldn't even start as we heard footsteps approaching.

We were barely able to jump apart as two co-workers passed by. They didn't really paid attention, fortunately, because otherwise we would've been in trouble. Even though we weren't physically close, my burning face and my embarrassment would've given us away.

I gave David a meaningful look then I returned to my desk. Right in time. Only a few minutes later the Home Secretary came with a request to head to the city for a business lunch and she also claimed me to be there so I would catch up faster.

We hurried to the car, the chauffeur was waiting. Julia and I settled in the back as Dave sat in the front seat.

Everyone was quiet, Julia organized some paper for me to read on the road and I was deeply lost in my thoughts when I caught a glimpse of Dave's eying me up from the rear-view mirror. Seemed like my little promise didn't leave him indifferent.

I released a half-smirk as I gingerly wetted my lips leaving them slightly parted before biting my lower lip. A challenging eyebrow-raise is what I got as I tried to refrain from giggling.

Yet my good mood didn't last long. I've heard a muffled thud as something hit our car. I had no time to realise what happened, because the next moment our chauffeur's got a hole in his head. The bullet hit him right at the temple.

I felt his still hot blood running down on my face inch by inch as a distant scream reached my ears. Everything slowed down irrationally. I touched my cheek, it was truly blood, yet it didn't seemed real. I saw David yelling at me horrified but my mind wasn't working.

"Duck down for fuck sake!" Finally I understood his words as I slid down to the ground numbly. Bullets hit the car continuously. We were under siege.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 – What about us**

"-, Miss" The paramedic tried to get my attention as I sat in the back of the ambulance. I was staring at the ground still in shock, unawares stroking the top of my hand with my thumb the way David did all along the assassination attempt. "Do you have someone to call?" The man asked me again sympathetically as I was free to go, yet I probably looked like shit so he didn't want to let me leave alone.

"She's with me" David beckoned to him arriving back, as the doctor nodded stepping away.

No one got injured thankfully, beside the psychical trauma. Well, except our driver, poor Frank of course.

A chill run down on my spine as an image of his lifeless body haunted me. And the blood everywhere…

"Come on, love, let's get you home" Dave told me wrapping his arm around my shoulder tightly, supporting me as we walked to the car. We were the last ones staying as they took care of the Home Secretary first.

I reached for the vehicle's door to open then I froze terrified. My hand was shaking and my breath became short and shallow.

"It's okay, gorgeous" Dave stepped to me enveloping my hands in his warm palms. "It's alright" He told me in a calm tone. "Look at me, love. Look at me" He asked as I slowly raised my eyes at him. "You are fine. You did very great in there. It's over." He ensured me. "No one's going to hurt you. I'm right here. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you." He said reassuring as he now cupped my face. "We are going to sit in the car and drive home. Without any harm. Do you trust me?" He asked as I nodded without hesitation. "Good" He smiled at me as he opened the door for me.

I took the seat while my trembling vanished like it was never there.

We spent the ride home in silence yet I caught Dave measuring me concerned.

"I'm all right" I told him as we stopped at a red light. "Really" I attempted to convince him squeezing his hand on the gear shift. He entwined our fingers pressing a loving kiss on mine, relived. He had been just as scared as me.

The lamp turned to green and we soon arrived to our apartment.

Dave sent me to take a shower which I accepted gladly. I poured the water on myself for which seemed an eternity until I finally felt clean enough.

I decided to dress into my nightwear and as I stepped out I saw David undressed a bit too to get comfortable for the evening.

I walked up to him without a world and cuddled to his bare chest with a deep sigh. Now, it was really over.

He embraced me placing a soft kiss on the top of my head then he suddenly lifted me up, bridal style while I yelped in surprise.

"You know I can walk, right?" I teased him as he carried me to the bedroom.

"But what's the fun in that?" He pecked my lips before setting me down. "You should rest" He told me seriously.

"Only with you" I shook my head adamantly as he released a small smile laying down next to me. He probably was expecting nothing less from me at this point.

I placed my head on his shoulder curling up to him as he stroked my back fondly. I closed my eyes enjoying the peaceful moment. Right now everything was perfect. I was in the secure bubble of his embrace where nothing bad could happen.

"Shit" David swore under his breath as his phone went off.

"It's okay, take it" I told him ensuring, sitting up as he reluctantly stood up to answer the call.

I only heard fragments of the conversation.

"I understand. No. I'm not going to. Julia... No." He repeated himself getting more and more impatient as I frowned. Since when were they on first name basis? "Because it's not my job. Yes, final. Alright." He told for last with repressed anger, then he came back fuming. "It was the Home Secretary. She wanted me to go to her house." He informed me without asking. "She doesn't feel safe" He added getting back to bed, still upset.

"It's normal" I started. She just survived a murder attempt. I could understand her and even the fact that she only felt secure with David around. "Maybe you should go" I suggested although a part of me screamed in horror of spending the night alone, Julia probably needed him more right now.

"I'm not her fucking lapdog to order me around!" He raised his voice frustrated with a slight resentment towards me. _Because I am._ I added in myself, receiving the whole message.

"Okay" I noted it coldly, folding my arms around my chest.

"I'm sorry, love, I didn't mean to..." He untangled my arms pulling me back to him. "It's just..." He took a deep breath as I've heard his heartbeat quickening. "It was Andy" He told me simply eventually.

"What about him?" I raised my brows confused. Andy was his buddy from the army. They've been through hell together and stayed close ever since, but I had no idea what has he do with anything.

"It was him. At the rooftop." He said as my heart skipped a beat. Dave left us in the car in the end, beyond the reach of the attacker and went finding him. The man was shooting from the top of a building, yet unfortunately he got suicide before the police could arrest him. "He was the assassin, Lena" He told me as I sat up abruptly.

"Are you sure?" The question slipped my mouth and I realized immediately how incredibly stupid it sounded.

"He split his skull a few meters away from me" He said as the matter of fact as I tried to hide my disturbance. "So yeah, I'm quite sure" He murmured, getting lost in thought.

"My god" I whispered progressing his words meaning. "But how? Or why?" I gabbled not wanting to believe it.

"He thought the country needs to learn a lesson, and with killing the Home Secretary who is openly on supporting wars seemed a good idea" He explained as I shook my head.

"I'm so sorry, honey" I reached for his hand to squeeze it. I knew how much Andy meant to him.

He remained silent but I saw how lost he is. Things got so fucked up lately that none of this seemed real.

He gently embraced me pulling me back once more as his arms folded around me desperately.

"I don't know what to do anymore" He admitted it with a shaky voice and I got him right away. He couldn't tell this to the police, otherwise they will think he might've assisted Andy or in the best case they would just suspend him again because of his involvement.

"We will think of something" I tried to ensure him pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. "You're not alone, Dave" I added as he sighed letting the tension go.

"Thank you, love" He said quietly. "I have no idea what would I do without you" He confessed whispering. My heart tightened, he was so vulnerable, so hurt… Seemed like I was his safe haven just like he was my rock.

"Then it's a fortune you don't have to figure it out." I forced on a smile raising my head to meet his eyes, trying to lighten the mood as he looked at me sincerely. For a moment he examined my lineaments, gently caressing my cheek then he sealed my lips with a devoted kiss that made me forget all the horror we've been through.

DDDDDDDD

The next morning every inch of me protested against going to work and the temptation to call in sick was strong. Yet I had no other option. We got a firm request to show up and not to give in to the terrorists' intimidation.

And the fact that the assassin was Andy didn't help at all either.

Julia was broken too, even though she stood tall, facing all the reporters and journalists with pride and confidence, I saw her in the solitude of her office, acting completely different. This incident shook us all. I was constantly checking Dave, whether he's near or not. Fortunately he never went too far, so I could see him.

Then I've heard the ear-splitting shots rippling through the air.

 _No, not again!_

My heart beat out of my chest as adrenaline rushed my veins throbbing furiously in my ears. I quickly ducked down, hiding under my desk as it was my first instinct, learning from Dave. I pulled my knees in, close to my chest trying to get as small as I could while my mind raced fast. _Did they invaded the building? How many of them are here? I don't want to get tortured again!_

I listened closely to gather more information, but everything was quiet. I couldn't hear the shooting anymore nor the screaming which was supposed to be there. Something was not right. _Did they kill everyone already?_

"Hello there, beautiful" David crouched down in front of me with a small smile. I was confused. _Why is he smiling when we are under attack?_ "Are you alright?" He asked as I finally realised we weren't in danger. We couldn't be if he acts so normal. "They should probably check those exhaust cannons" He told me reading the situation perfectly.

 _Shit! A car's exhaust cannon? Really? I am such an idiot!_

I rested my forehead on my knees defeated. I didn't want to admit what did just happen…

"A police car pulled me over not long after I got back from Afghanistan." David started, sitting down next to me. "They thought I was drunk. But I just bypassed a plastic bag on the road. I thought it was a landmine." He told me as I raised my eyes at him surprised. "You've been through a lot" He continued wiping away a tear from my cheek I haven't even noticed earlier. "But you are doing amazing" He added as I scoffed rolling my eyes. Panicking and broke down because of an exhaust wasn't defining _amazing_ to me. "Don't you dare to underestimate my girl" He warned me teasing. "I'll talk to Julia, you go home and rest. No. I don't care." He stopped me before I could start disagreeing "When I finish, we'll do something tonight. Whatever you want. We can go out to eat, or to the cinema, you choose." He ordered me as I nodded letting him help me up.

DDDDDDDD

I decided to prepare a dinner for Dave. His favourite, lasagne. I always loved cooking but usually I never had the time to enjoy it. It will be fun to do something normal, something ordinary what a regular couple would do.

I tasted the tomato sauce as my phone buzzed signalling a message. I smiled to myself, it was probably Dave, checking on me again. But as I opened it, I stopped in motion, completely frozen. It wasn't David, well at least he wasn't the sender, though he was on the pictures. With Julia. Kissing. Practically naked.

 _He's not who you think he is_. The text stated.

I sat down on the chair numbly scrolling through the pictures again and again desperately trying to find something that proved it wasn't real. Something to tell me it's fake, but nothing.

My heart clenched as I shook my head. _This can't be true. No. I can't believe it. Dave is not one to cheat. Nowadays they can do anything with Photoshop, right?_ I reasoned with myself as I attempted to tame my racing pulse. _There has to be a perfectly logical explanation. Yes. Dave will come home and clarify it._

Yet I couldn't calm down a bit. I sat there agonizing for god knows how long, when finally David arrived.

"Gosh, that smells wonderful" He complimented me cheerfully as he stepped in. "You really didn't have to though, we could've gone out or ordered in" He added walking up to me. "Love?" He asked concerned as he noticed my turmoil.

"Don't you have something to tell me?" I questioned with a raspy voice.

"Umm, that you're the best and I can't wait to taste dinner?" He guessed pulling me up into his arms. I scoffed biting back the tears choked in my throat as my whole body tensed up at his touch.

"How about this?" I asked showing him the pictures. I watched him close, reading his reaction, hoping he would laugh it off, pointing out why it is totally nonsense, telling me he would never do such things to me.

"Who sent it to you?" He rather asked coldly with repressed anger.

"Seriously, David?" I stepped away from him just like he slapped me on the face. "That's the first thing you say? So it's true, isn't it?" I questioned in disbelief. This can't be happening!

"Lena..." He tried to approach me, but I backed away.

"Isn't it?"

"My beautiful" He got closer intending to grab my hand but I pushed him away.

"Isn't it?" I repeated raising my voice impatiently.

"I can explain" He told me basically confessing.

"Shit, David" I cursed retreating to the wall, supporting my back to it. My entire world fell apart. "But when-, how-, why?" I gabbled as my mind raced trying to put the puzzle together. And there was only one possible opportunity. "The week you spent together…" I mumbled under my breath then I suddenly saw it crystal clear. It was so obvious! "That night you called me. That exact night, right?" I asked him feeling disgusted. "That's why you acted so guilty, that's why you avoided me." I continued. "Oh my god, you fucked her then you came to me to fuck me too" I closed my mouth with my hands in horror. An abrupt nausea took over me. This was sick!

"Lena, please, listen to me" He begged with a painful expression, not even trying to deny it. My tears were rolling down on my cheek as silent sobs shook my body uncontrollably. Everything was over. "I had to gather information on her…" He started being broken as well but I couldn't care less.

"What? Information on how tight she is from the inside?" I spitted it bitterly as the anger won over the pain. I saw it hitting him bad, but I didn't regret it.

"They threatened they would kick out the kids from the safe house if I don't deliver the info they needed" He explained his face twitching in anguish. "We were alone… I only knew I had to get it no matter what… I wasn't thinking clear…It's fucked up, I know you're angry…"

"No." I interrupted him. That was enough of this bullshit. He cheated on me and that was for sure. "What's fucked up is that the one person that I trusted more than anyone or anything in this world turned out to be a liar. And a really, really good one at that." I told him gathering all my strength for the following. "So don't you dare to tell me how I'm supposed to feel right now. Matter of fact, you don't get to tell me anything anymore, or ever again" I declared it starring daggers at him.

"Lena, my love" He whispered barely audible as his voice failed him. He took one step closer trying to caress my cheek.

"Don't touch me!" I hissed furiously, dodging him. "Get the hell out of here" I told him coldly as he looked at me pleading. "Leave! Now!" I yelled as he finally nodded defeated.

That night I died inside.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 - Rock bottom**

I carefully applied the makeup on my skin, but I had to face the fact that the world's all foundation wouldn't be enough to hide the dark circles and bags under my eyes.

I haven't slept last night. At least not counting those _crying myself to sleep for a few minutes_ sessions just to wake up being covered in cold sweat to the images of David having sex with Julia.

I put my hair in a tight bun as I checked my reflection. My clothes looked absolutely immaculate, showing nothing about how shitty I truly felt.

I sighed collecting all my willpower to leave the apartment. The show must go on. Julia needed me for her speeches and lectures she will be holding the next few weeks.

I could've been angry with her, but who was I kidding? She did nothing wrong. She didn't knew David already has a girlfriend.  
 _Had, Lena, past tense, remember?_ I noted as I opened the door.

I yelped in surprise as I almost stumbled over something. Or more like someone... David was sleeping in front the entrance. For a moment he seemed so peaceful, so innocent... then I reminded myself why he is not sleeping inside, in our bed.

I scoffed bypassing him.

"Lena, wait" He called running after me. "Please, give me a second, love" He asked desperately. He looked like shit too.

"Yes, David? Anything else to add to your story?" I mocked turning to face him raising my brows as a sign that I'm listening.

His piercing blue eyes penetrated me, looking through me right to my soul as I saw deep agony in his. I casted my gaze down. This was so not the time to sympathize with him, yet my chest tightened knowing he's hurt that much.

 _It's his fault, not mine!_

"I just need you to know that it only happened once. I haven't initiated nor enjoyed any moment of it and I'm gonna loath myself for the rest of my life because of that" He told me as I bit my lip stopping the tears, then I held my chin high with a strict expression.

"Is that all?" I asked bluntly after a moment. I believed him, he was telling the truth now for sure. But none of this mattered. The wound was too fresh to consider any forgiveness.

He nodded reading and respecting my wish of being alone as I finally left the building.

DDDD

All my day went with avoiding David as much as it was possible and trying to survive the day with as less contact with Julia as it was manageable. Even though I held no grudge against her, seeing her was a stab in my damaged heart each time.

Fortunately I could go home early and I rather haven't thought about the reason. She probably enjoyed her alone time with her PPO too much to ruin it with my sour face.

I went to the fridge and opened a bottle of vine. I needed it to deaden the pain, the ache in my chest, the incompleteness that drove me crazy. Dave was my rock, my solid ground whenever something bad happened and now I had no one to turn to.

I drank another sip from the glass as I felt the tingling warmness filling my stomach. The alcohol worked fast on me since I had no appetite during the day. Actually, I haven't even eaten anything so far... I shrugged it off nonchalantly, continuing to finish up the drink as I settled down on the floor next to the wall.

A couple of minutes later there was a firm knock on the door. After a second of wondering who it might be I decided to stay put. I didn't feel like talking to anyone anyway.

Another knock. Then another.

"Open up, please" I've heard David's voice from the other side as my heartbeat quickened immediately. "We need to talk"

"Go away!" I shouted at him.

"No, Lena, I'm not going to until we talk this through" He told me as I jumped up in anger.

"There is nothing to talk through" I yanked the front door open raging. He was unbelievable! "It's not a fucking argument we should discuss. It's not the matter of different opinions. You fucking cheated on me and now you expect me to fucking forgive you like nothing happened!" I yelled at him not caring about the neighbours.

"I did it because of the kids for god's sake, don't you understand?" He raised his voice too to get my attention. "I had no other choice and it meant absolutely nothing"

"Really? That's the best you can do? It meant nothing?" I scoffed folding my arms. "How was she by the way? Better than me? Did she use a different technique?" I asked mockingly.

"Stop it, Lena." He shook his head hurtfully.

"No, no, David, you wanted to talk." I continued mercilessly. "Did she suck your dick? Or rode you? Or rather just let herself get fucked? Or all of these together? Who knows, it was a long night"

"This is not you" He told me disappointed of how this conversation is going as I chuckled wildly.

"This is what you made me, David" I noted it bitterly feeling weak suddenly.

"You're drunk" He told me just like I wasn't aware of it.  
"Yeah? Well, it's none of your concern." I said trying to close the door, but he didn't let me.

"You can't stay alone"

"Watch me"

"There are still terrorist wanting to hurt us" He reasoned with me, but I drank too much for it.

"I don't care" I ignored it. "And don't you dare to sleep in front of my door again." I added making sure he'd go.

"I promised to protect you, I'm not going to leave"  
I had to laugh on this one.

"Oh, David, you promised me a lot of things, yet it didn't take long to break them" I explained. "Let me be clear on this" I told him now determined, pouring all my bitterness into those words. "I'd rather be kidnapped and tortured again then knowing you're close to me" I looked him in the eyes. My legs were shaking as I grabbed the doorframe for support.

I was too harsh, my words cut deep, I knew it as I saw his expression distorting in suffer, but at least it was effective. He finally let me shut door.

DDDD

People always say that it hurts at night and apparently screaming into your pillow at three am. is the romantic equivalent of being heartbroken, but losing David wasn't just painful. It was fucking annihilating. It was staying up all night because the thought if him was so strong I couldn't even close my eyes without seeing his face. It was swallowing quickly and blinking back tears every time I was in public while the hole in my chest causing my breath to come out shaky, rather than normal. It was laughing at things for no reason as my stomach turned because the urge of falling apart was getting worse. It was crying at random hours during the day and it was not wanting to get up out of bed. But sometimes it was 9 am. on a Sunday morning, standing at the kitchen bench waiting for the toast to pop up, while the smell of the over-fried crumbs and earl gray tea making me miss him so much I didn't know what to do with my hands.

More than a week passed. Some days were bad, some were worse, but today was one of the worst so far. I dragged myself around in work, doing only the absolutely necessary. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I was a ridicules ghost of myself. On top of that, I had a meeting with Commander Sampson and CSI Craddock.

"Ma'am" I nodded as I stepped in the room with growing anxiety. It didn't felt right. _What does the head of Counter Terrorism and David's commanding officer want from me?_ "You wished to see me" I told them as Craddock smiled at me.

"Yes, Helena" She said. "Can I call you, Helena?" She questioned as I nodded again. _Whatever_. "How are you doing? Things have been pretty hectic here." She started the small talk as I shrugged slightly.

"Good. Considering the situation." I added honestly.

"Yes, I guess that's the best we all can do" She murmured sending me a gentle smile again then she sighed taking a deep breath. "We noticed that the Home Secretary grew quite fond of PS Budd." She started as I flinched. "Do you know maybe the reason?" She asked as I cursed in myself silently. I knew the exact reason...

"I don't know" I answered with a plain expression.

"What's the nature of their relationship?" Sampson joined in impatiently tapping with her fingers on the table.

"No idea, Ma'am" I told her shaking my head. I'm not going to sell David out. Not even after what happened.

"She's keeping me out of the loop, she's overruled our security advice, she's taking the 1st of October attack off us." The Commander started circling around me like a shark approaching its pray. "Unjustified, unprecedented. This is a very dangerous politician." She added as I raised my gaze at her. I haven't been following the happenings lately. "And she wrapped him under her finger regarding him as her blue-eyed boy. We need to know how bad the situation is"

Oh, you don't know the half of it..., I thought, but remained silent.

"You're her personal assistant and you're also a friend of PS Budd." Craddock talked again with a persuading tone. "You have to figure out what's going on"

"I've seen your footage" Sampson said and it took me a moment to realise she's talking about my torture-video. "It was quite instructive. We could use it on our trainings as a demonstration. An example"

 _What the fuck is she talking about?!_

"I don't know, Ma'am" Craddok joined in. "Sounds too risky. Then someone could leak it out, it could go viral..." She suggested it as I felt more and more sick. They were playing with me. "Everyone would see it" She drew the conclusion.

"How is Ella and Charlie by the way?" Sampson asked innocently, but I understood her too well. If someone, they were the last people I wished to see those images.

"They have nothing to do with it." I warned her that she really crossed the line now.

"No, not yet" She noted as we locked eyes challenging.

"Just consider what we requested" Craddock tried to soften the message but it was futile. "We'll talk later." She said finishing up the conversation as I turned around and left without even saying goodbye.

I ran up to the rooftop, like a lunatic not even caring about what my colleagues would think. I was suffocating. I needed fresh air. How twisted you have to be to threaten someone with her worst nightmare? Did they approached Dave like this too? I was so confused, so lost that a sudden nausea overwhelmed me. When did everything turned out so fucked up?

"Lena" I've heard the oh-so-familiar voice as a sob choked on my throat. "Are you okay, love?" Dave asked frowning as tears were rolling down on my face, burning my skin in the cold breeze.

The last thing I wanted to do was break down in front of him, but I couldn't help it. Nothing made sense anymore, my whole world fell apart. As much as I tried to control it, I just wasn't able to.

"No." I shook my head desperately. "I'm not okay. At all" I bit my bottom lip as tears kept stinging my cheek. "Actually, nothing is okay, everything is a shitload of mess." He inched closer to me, taking my hand in his, gently rubbing my skin with his thumb. "I can't do this anymore" I whispered, my voice failing as his touch sent jolts of both good and bad feelings throughout my body.

"I'm so sorry, my beautiful" He muttered quietly, softly pressing his forehead on mine. A rush of images invaded my mind – what we used to be, who he was to me, what I imagined we were going to be together and the reality of what we were now.

As much as I craved his secure presence, his warm caresses, I knew it's not true. I yanked my hands free and stepped back a few inches.

"Stop" I told him weakly. "Just stop" I felt him staring at me, aware of he didn't know what to say, and honestly, I don't think I expected him to have anything to say. "I can't... I'm sorry" I mumbled running away again.

I excused myself from the rest of the day. No one questioned whether I was sick or not. I guess my pale tone spoke for itself.

This afternoon really stirred the shit. I had no idea what to think anymore. Dave was given an ultimatum just like me with the difference that his bargain was the kids safety. Now I understood how convincing they could be if they really wanted something. My head buzzed from all the information. I didn't want to think or analyse a damn thing.

All I knew I missed David so much that even the physical pain was unbearable.

I decided to take a hot bath to ease my mind as I stopped in front of the shelves for a moment. A picture caught my gaze. It was David and me what felt like a lifetime ago. He made it when he first took me to the London Eye.

I took it off as an unawares smile crept across my face. I remember, I was so happy back there. I was only twelve when they built the Ferris Wheel but I always longed to see it.

The picture was taken not so long after I run away with him. I was sixteen, he was nineteen. My stepfather has beaten me up so bad that I ended up in the hospital. The night before the day they released me I cried for hours begging the nurses and doctors not to let me out, when Dave showed up with a duffle beg full of my stuffs. I haven't seen my family ever since.

Not that I missed anyone.

My real father left my mother when I was four. I can't recall his face or anything related to him. I don't know how was mom before, but after, it was a awful. Eventually she got addicted to heroin. She was always hooking up with her dealers until one of them turned out to be my stepfather. He abused me on daily basis, mostly verbally but when he was drunk and had a bad day, hell broke loose.

The only reason I kept my sanity was David, who was always there to cheer me up, protect me or just let me cry my eyes out on his shoulder.

What happened to us? I muttered sighing putting down the picture.

DDDD

It was way passed midnight when my phone went off. Tom's calling. I frowned, picking up.

"Are you okay?"

"Define okay" He told me annoyed. "Dave has been drinking and he refuses to listen to me." He said and I've heard his tone he must've been dealing with him for quite a few hours now. "He keeps repeating your name and something about how such a moron he was" He explained as J raised my eyes up to the ceiling. "I don't know what happened between you two guys, I'm not even interested, but if you ever considered me as a friend, please, come over." He pleaded.

"I'll be right there" I ensured him, quickly stepping into my shoes, grabbing my coat, my keys and I was on my way. This situation escalated far enough.

"He's right there" Tom invited me in immediately. "I'll leave you two alone" He nodded going for a walk.

Dave was sitting on the couch with a bottle of whiskey in his hand. He was staring in front of himself, blankly. I hated to see him like this.

I slowly stepped closer. I knew he noticed me, yet he haven't shown any sign of it. I took a seat next to him. He still fixated the rug as he was about to drink another sip of alcohol. I gently touched his arm to let him know, it's not a good idea. He finally looked at me. His eyes were red from the sleepless nights and crying. He changed his mind, putting down the bottle on the coffee table.

"Do you want to know the truth?" He then asked turning his gaze away. "The fucked up truth is not everything happens for a reason. I screwed up royally and now I have to live with the consequences for the rest of my life. I can't turn back the clocks to redo things no matter how much I want to. I made a horrible mistake, and now I'm paying the price." He told me as I felt his anger and frustration building up. "But losing you is killing me." He added with his face distorting painfully. "Because it's you. It's fucking you. I can't describe it anymore, it's you. You are the only one that I will ever want." He started to explain with tears gathering in his eyes. "You are my home. I can see fifty years from now on the front porch of some old house in the middle of nowhere and we're together." He gabbled as those tears now rolled down on his cheek. "You are the only thing that matters, my love. You are my good." He finished with a quiet sob as I realised, at some point I started to cry too and now my tears were pouring down on my face. "I hate myself for how much pain I caused to you. I would beg for forgiveness, but I deserve none" He noted it turning away, but I grabbed his hand.

"Please, don't say that" I whispered barely audible, finding my voice finally. I knew what he did was really unforgivable, but I understood him and his motives and intentions were true, it was protecting his family at all cost. He only choose a bad way to do it. "Everyone has their limits. Boundaries. Lines not to cross" I started getting more and more comfortable with him. "And you crossed mine" I added the obvious as he listened closely while we still held hands. His fingers caressed mine, enjoying that I haven't pulled away this time while my entire body tingled at the sudden sensation. "Gosh, you ran so far passing it you can't even see it anymore" I scoffed wiping my cheek. "But I can't cut you out of my life" I admitted it, even for myself. "I know it now, I tried." I continued as I saw a slight glimmer of hope sparkling in his eyes. "Yet I can't go back to what it was either." I shook my head. "And I'm not sure I ever will be able to" I told him honestly as he casted his eyes down defeated. "I..." I started sighing. I didn't want to give him any false hope. "I just... need time for now." I said as he nodded thoughtfully. Even though my mind knew he didn't mean to hurt me, it hasn't changed the way I felt about him, now.

"I'll find an apartment" He agreed seriously as I sent him a small smile.

"That won't be necessary." He looked at me so confused that I couldn't help but chuckled. "I want you to move back, silly" I explained. "Of course if you want to as well" I added sheepishly. "As a friend"

"Are you sure?" He questioned, not wanting to believe it as I hummed. I needed him just as much as he needed me, being separated destroyed enough the both of us.

"My beautiful" He sighed quietly with great relief as he pulled me in for a hug. He squeezed me tight inhaling deeply as I did the same, closing my eyes.

This wasn't over. It was far from it. But I decided to forgive him. I knew it is a choice I'll have to make every day, until once, hopefully I'll be free of hurt.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9** **– FRICTION**

"Since when do you cook?" I frowned smiling as I came back to the kitchen after having a nice hot bath, noticing Dave with a small baking sheet.

"Since you look like someone who desperately needs a dinner." He told me as a matter of fact and he was probably right. The past one and a half week treated me bad, I lost a good couple of pounds thanks to my lack of appetite.

"That's what you call dinner?" I grinned teasing, sitting down at the counter as he served me the food. Sticky Toffee Pudding, one of my favourite.

"Do you have a problem with it?" He raised his eyebrow pulling back the plate, out of my reach.

"Not at all" I yanked it out of his hand greedily. I know it's not a good habit to keep, but I had a real sweet tooth and preferred to eat dessert first if there was any. Or just the dessert sometimes. Okay, more times than I'd like to admit.

"Uhm, that's amazing" I moaned tasting it, closing my eyes for the fullest pleasure. "So delicious" I added enjoying the warm sweetness covering my mouth and tongue. If there was a pudding-heaven I definitely found it.

Then my eyes eventually met David's intense gaze which made me blush furiously. I didn't have to be a mind-reader to know what he's thinking.

"Thank you" I told him clearing my throat, getting a bit self-conscious as he nodded with a small smile, his expression softening.

"You're welcome, love"

"You want a bite?" I offered him one on my fork as I saw him hesitate. "Come on, otherwise I must think you want to poison me" I added teasing, before he accepted it reluctantly.

I knew this new situation was odd for him, it was odd for me too. Going back to being only friends was tricky, he didn't want to cross the line, so he rather kept more distance. I remember how he asked permission to hug me the first night...

We spent the meal talking, keeping it light, then I decided to clean up the dishes.

"I can take care of this" Dave said following me.

"That's the least I can do, don't worry" I ensured him starting up the work.

Soon I felt his strong arms wrapping around my waist from behind as he rested his head on my shoulder. He let out a relieved sigh, easing up a bit.

For a moment I closed my eyes relishing this intimacy. It meant peace and hope. A chance that maybe sometimes everything will go back to normal.

I wasn't kidding myself though. It would be a long progress. A decision of forgiveness I had to make, over and over until it wouldn't hurt that much.

"Good night, beautiful" Dave placed a soft kiss on my forehead as we were done with the packing.

"Good night" I smiled lightly, returning to my room.

 **DDDDDDDDDDDD**

I wasn't expecting an easy sleep. The haunting nightmares usually kept me awake late, but still being up at 3 am. was a bit extreme even for me.

I walked to my bookshelf to find something to read, that helped most of the times, when my door burst open. David stormed in, closing me in a bone-crushing hug.

Being completely stunned, I stood there for a moment, frozen.

"David, darling, that's sweet, really, but I can't breathe." I managed to press between two short breath as he loosened his grip a bit, but held me tight for sure.

"I thought you left" He started mumbling, burying his face in the crook of my neck. "In my dream..." He added explaining as I understood. He had nightmares as well.

"I think we can agree, the last time that happened, it was a complete disaster for both of us" I said stroking his back, reasoning. "I'm not going anywhere, honey" I ensured him as we stood there for long minutes till he finally started to calm down. "Besides, where would I go, this is my house, remember?" I teased trying to erase the tension, pulling a bit further to look at him. I saw a flicker of smile in his eyes as he nodded.

"I'm sorry, love, I really am, I..." He tried to apologize, but I hushed him.

"It's okay, it was only a bad dream" I reassured him while we locked eyes. His direct gaze unsettled me as I suddenly became painfully aware of the radiating heat of his body. I was still locked in his welcoming embrace and I would lie if I said I haven't felt the familiar tingling in the pit of my stomach.

"I should go back to sleep" He eventually broke the silence, yet his actions spoke louder, pulling me closer barely noticeable as I got lost in his deep blue irises.

"Good idea" I cleared my throat regaining my senses. "Tomorrow is a big day" I added unfolding myself from his arms. Starting tomorrow, after work, the Home Secretary, which means us too, will move to a hotel near to the university she'll give a speech in.

"Yeah" He agreed backing out of my room awkwardly.

I sighed shaking my head then I grabbed a book as I originally planned. I definitely needed that distraction.

 **DDDDDDDDDDDD**

"It's a double bed room" The receptionist said handing a key to David and me as we checked in. "I know you've requested separate ones but there were not enough spare rooms" She explained. "I'm really sorry for the inconveniences" She added genuinely, seeing my panicked expression.

"Isn't there any..." Dave was about to find another solution, but I cut him off.

"No, it's okay, don't worry" I smiled at both of them as I grabbed the magnet key.

David hasn't said anything on the way up to our accommodation, probably he didn't want to bring any attention to us in the presence of everyone else, but I could feel his piercing gaze on me as he wanted to figure me out.

We bid the Home Secretary a good night then we entered the room next to her. We put down our baggage and I started to pack out while David laid some pillows and a blanket on the ground.

"What are you doing?" I asked him frowning.

"I'm going to sleep here" He said pointing out the obvious.

"No, you won't" I scoffed. Is he serious? "This bed is perfectly big enough for two." I added. It was a king sized bed, if we squeezed ourselves, a third person could fit in quite comfortably.

"Are you sure?" He asked not wanting to push me.

Honestly, no, I wasn't sure at all, but I wasn't going to let him sleep on the floor just because we weren't together. Friends did co-sleep sometimes too, right?

"Come on, we are adults, I think we can manage to sleep in the same bed without a problem" I said offering a small smile which he eventually returned, accepting my logic.

An internal door opened abruptly, making me wince as Julia stepping in.

She looked at us for a moment, reading the situation.

"If it bothers you, PS Budd can stay in my room." She told me examining the bedding on the ground. "I have a couch" She added watching me. Of course, a couch... I thought, squeezing my fist furiously. Just how stupid did she think am I?

"It won't be necessary, Ma'am" Dave answered before I could've said anything regrettable. "We just sorted it out" He said packing the stuff back on the mattress.

"Either way" She started gazing at me, before turning to Dave. "I want you to come over to discuss some matter"

Now it was his turn to become pale.

"Now?" He questioned reluctantly, searching my look.

"Yes, Sergeant, now. Or do you have better program?" She questioned mockingly. "Miss Osborne, do you mind if I steal your roommate for a while?" She addressed it to me, reading the circumstances too well.

"No, Ma'am" I said pressing it between my clenched teeth.

"I'll be right there" Dave agreed to avoid any further conflicts between me and the Home Secretary, who meanwhile left us alone.

"I'll stay" He declared stepping closer to me. "I'll come up with an excuse…" He started as I sighed tiredly.

"No, it's okay. She's you're employer. Maybe she really needs to discuss something" I rubbed my face with both of my palms, partly to hide my troubled expression.

"Nothing is going to happen between her and I, love" Dave said placing his palms on my shoulders. "I'm not going to let it, I promise" He reassured me as I scoffed being irritated with myself.

"Not like it is my business, anyway." I murmured quietly. I knew he's telling the truth, but I had no right to be upset or make a scene. We weren't together. He was a free man.

"Hey" He lifted my chin up to get my attention. "You are the only one I crave" He confessed simply, making my heart race in my chest. "I don't care for how long I have to wait, let it be forever, it doesn't matter, I don't want anyone else" He explained as I folded my arms around his neck, relieved. He embraced my waist resting his wrists loosely on the small of my back.

"We are not handling it very well, are we?" I mumbled as he hugged me tighter.

"No" He admitted agreeing as I couldn't help but chuckled.

"You should go though, get over with it as fast as it's possible" I released him acting braver than I felt as he took my advice and walked to the door.

"I'll be back soon" He said before entering Julia's room.

I started to prepare for the night, at least it occupied me and I wasn't obsessing over the fact that Dave is with the woman who seemed quite eager to get laid by him again...

I finished with my shower, changed my clothes and I was already in the bed when Dave arrived back. He looked weirdly disturbed and for a moment I feared the worst.

"Why haven't you told me that Craddock and Sampson talked to you?" He asked getting worked up. "What did they want?"

"A report on you and Julia" I answered sitting up feeling a bit relieved. "But I told nothing" I added quickly.

"You should've" He retorted. "Lena, they threatened you, didn't they?" He asked concerned, sitting down on the bed too. He knew too well how they operated.

"Well…"

"Didn't they?" He demanded seriously. "With what?" My face was probably enough for a confession as he continued on. "Lena, my love" He reached out for my hand.

"With the tape" I said eventually. "They said they will make it public" I added casting my eyes down.

"Son of a bitches" Dave cursed under his breath. "Next time they summon you, I want you to tell them everything they want."

"But Dave…" I tried to argue. He can get into serious troubles if I confirm their theory.

"Tell them everything" He repeated. "Do you copy?" He asked. "I can take care of myself, love, don't worry" He said as I slowly nodded.

"That's what she wanted?" I questioned putting the puzzle together as Dave decided to take a shower too.

"Hmm?" He turned back from the bathroom. "Yeah, she heard that the department of Counter Terrorism might be after her" He said. "She was curious how much you know" He explained as I tensed up. "Relax, love, I've got your back" He tried to ease me. "She won't bother you with it, okay?" He added, letting out a deep sigh.

"Okay" I sent him a half-smile as he disappeared in the bathroom.

I wanted to stay up and wait for him, but the water's steady swashing calmed me too much. Or maybe it was the fact that I won't be sleeping alone, but I felt my eyelids became heavier and heavier until I dozed off peacefully.

I don't know how much time I've spent in this transition between dreams and reality, but Dave's intense gaze brought me back.

"What?" I asked raising my brows with still half-closed eyes. He was lying next to me on his side, with our faces quite close.

"Nothing" He said yet I still felt his lingering eyes on me.

"Seriously, what's that?" I insisted now being almost fully awake as we locked eyes.

"Do you really want to know?" He asked with a hint of tease as I nodded.

"Yes?" I said hesitantly as he remained silent for a moment his eyes darkening with longing.

"I was thinking about how falling asleep next to you can make my day" He started quietly. "How your smile lit up the room. How I would go to war for this precious set of lips" He continued glimpsing at my mouth.

"Cheesy" I said smirking, trying to hide the real effect of his words. My heart hammered in my chest threatening to jump out at any moment. Blood throbbed in my veins pulsating with desire.

My body was a traitor, reacting to Dave's closeness not caring about the consequences.

"How I would do anything to kiss you right now" He said lowering his voice, husking barely audible. His thumb gently traced my lower lip while he cupped my face.

I gasped at the sudden sensation. A delicious shudder shot through me just by the mere thought of being possessed by him once more.

"Dave" I called him in attempt to stop this, but it was more like a moan of begging.

A distant door slamming broke the moment as I almost jumped out of my skin.

We quickly exchanged a glance. It was Julia's room. Someone came to visit.

We got out of the bed fast as Dave hurried to get his listening device. I was still dizzy from the overwhelming emotions, but we both managed to switch back to mission-mode.

He handed me half of the earplug.

"How much you've got?" The Home Secretary asked.

"Decryption instructions for viewing the material." A man answered. "We've taken the liberty of providing you with a tablet, so the material can't be traced to your own devices. We'll take the tablet back when you're finished." He explained. "It contains a read-only file you'll be able to view for a limited time-period before being locked out and requiring new decryption. If that happens, you should get in touch. I'm authorized to make suitable arrangements." He ensured Julia.

"Let's see how it goes. Is that the lot?" She questioned.

"For the time being. I'll leave it with you." The man said then after a moment we heard heavy footsteps and the door opening again.

Dave gave me the device than run out of the room to catch a glimpse of the mysterious visitor.

It was very odd. Samson was maybe right. Julia has some shady business, apparently.

"Richard Longcross" David said returning. "At least that's the name ha gave." He scoffed not being pleased. "We have to take a look at that tablet"

"Couldn't agree more." I folded my arms around my chest frowning. "In the morning I'm going to make a diversion. Her speech's fact-checking is not perfect anyway. It should do" I came up with the idea. "Meanwhile you can check that device, I'll keep her occupied." I added.

"Alright. It's a plan then" He nodded determined.

My stomach twitched in anxiety. Just how deep this shit can go on?


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10 – Paying the price**

I sat down on the bed feeling nauseous. The shit twirled deeper and deeper. I just couldn't believe all those things Dave found on the hard drive.

"So the Prime Minister…"

"And many others" He confirmed the rape-crimes and other sexual-physical abuses.

This was sick. What happened to me happened to a lot of other girls right in front of our eyes. And it was even worse. My perpetrators were at least terrorists, _the enemy_ , but these people led our country…

"But I didn't have too much time. I made a copy though. After this speech we'll check it and go through it from word to word." He offered as I nodded absentmindedly.

"She wants the Minister go down?" I asked making theories. Anything to get myself distracted from the invading memories of my kidnap.

"Or she simply wants more power."

"Old-fashioned blackmailing? Makes sense" I nodded then I laid down on my back huffing. I covered my face with my palms as a frustrated sigh left my mouth. "This will never end, will it?"

Dave stayed silent. Not that I expected an answer. I knew exactly how politics work. Some would do anything for the power and usually they are the ones who later abusing it in the name of _the greater good_.

I felt the mattress moving under me as Dave took his place next to me.

"How about we go to the London Eye this weekend?" He suggested, obviously trying to cheer me up. A genuine smile crept across my face as I turned to my side to face him.

"That would be lovely." He returned my smile relieved as I reached out for his hand to squeeze it. "Thank you" I added locking eyes with him and I got instantly lost in his deep azure irises. Our faces were only inches away and I felt the strong, magnetic pull getting us even closer. My heart hammered in my chest so loud that I was sure he hears it too in the tense silence. I saw his gaze travelling down, settling on my lips as a sparkle of desire flickered in his eyes.

I held my breath in anticipation, trying to convince my body to move back, to put some distance between us, but it was useless. I remained completely stationary as he finally closed the gap and ever so gently pressed his lips on mine. It was a feather-light kiss, in any other situation it wouldn't even matter much, but now it was everything. It electrified all my cells, giving me new hope, bringing me back to life.

I closed my eyes feeling strangely calm, acknowledging the fact that my mind eventually lost its heroic battle to tame my heart.

Dave pulled away after a few seconds and I let him. He sent me a remorseful, even terrified look as he was about to apologize.

"It's okay" I ensure him with a half-smile even though I was confused and lost. It felt good. Who was I kidding? This little gesture itself was absolutely amazing. But I didn't want to rush anything. If there was a second chance for us, I wanted to make it right. And so did he, since he understood my state of mind instinctively. He nodded slightly, getting up from the bed, pulling me with himself with a light smile.

"Come on, love, we have to go"

 **DDD**

The St. Matthew's Collage was crowded. A lot of people gathered around to see the Home Secretary and hear what she has to say.

Everything was in neat order, but it wasn't surprising. We were talking about David in charge.

"I want you to sit in the back" He stepped up to me with the strict order.

"Dave" I started patiently "My place is in the front, and you know that" I rolled my eyes playfully. He and his bodyguard-mode.

He was tense, looking around continuously, checking the environment, searching for anything odd, that didn't fit the picture.

"Alright" He accepted eventually. "At least wear this, please" He gave me an earplug. Just like the one they were wearing. "If I had to reach you fast"

"Control-freak" I teased him taking the device. Even if Dave stood in the back he would've been only a ten or fifteen meters away. Yet despite my mockery I was truly grateful for his caring.

I put the plug into my ear a bit hesitantly.

"It's good?"

He checked it with great experience then he softly adjusted my hair over it to hide it carefully. His gentle fingers inevitably touched my ear, making me shudder involuntary.

"Perfect" He then answered quietly, his intense gaze penetrating me and for a moment I was sure he isn't talking about the device anymore. Blood throbbed in my veins as my cheeks turned bright red immediately.

"See you after the speech?" I cleared my throat awkwardly then I cursed myself right away. _What kind of a stupid question is that?_

"Of course, love" He agreed, finally letting me go to my seat.

I let out a relieved sigh as soon as I was far enough, releasing the breath I had no idea I was keeping in.

" _See you after the speech_ " I taunted myself murmuring. "Really, Lena?" I sat down on the chair, completely thwarted as I even scoffed, shaking my head. Suddenly I felt like I'm in high school again with my crush around.

"You know I can hear you, right?" David's delighted voice made me jump out of my skin. This can't get any worse, can it?

"Obviously. Now." I admitted it then I've heard his heartily chortle. "Just shut up" I muttered grumpily then the Home Secretary finally stepped out to the stage and the whole room fell silent.

"We live in extraordinary times. It's no exaggeration to say terrorism poses the greatest threat to our national security since the Cold War. We must do all in our power to protect our way of life."

She barely started her talk when two young British guy stood up yelling.

"RIPA-'18 makes a police state! RIPA-'18 makes a police state!"

Their shirt were also a clear message. RIPA – 18 crossed with red lines. Dave and his team worked fast but the two boy already had all the attention of the crowd.

"Seven Nine. Protesters in the auditorium, being removed." David noted as two security grabbed them efficiently and shepherded them to the exit.

"Shame on you, Julia! Shame on you!" They roared with their last, hopeless anger.

"Coming to you now. Just obtain details from each of them." Dave coordinated the situation completely.

"Polite as you can. The Principal won't thank you for being heavy-handed." I added to him thinking about the press.

"Let's not deny them their right to express a view." He told to the others, being on the same page with me.

"Though, they say in times of national emergency the first casualty is free speech. I really don't care what you all do when you switch your internet browser to private." Julia started again when the order was regained. "We're not after you if you type into your search engine B-O-O-B-S. But we ought to know if you type in B-O-M-B." She spelled the words, making it clear what her programme is about. Many of the people, just like those protestors, feared the outcome of too much power in the hand of the police and other law forces. Their point of view was also legit, but they probably wasn't kidnapped, tortured or being the victim of attempted murder…

"You see anyone out there?" David's voice interrupted my train of thoughts, making me nervous all of a sudden. I turned around just to see him leave the room. "What the fuck?"

"Dave, what's wrong?"

"There's been a massive fuck-up with the speech. Rob just called me. I need to warn Julia." Tahir's trembling excuses were audible from the other side. What was he talking about? I did everything necessary to secure the speech's success…

"What's in the briefcase?" Dave asked being suspicious as well.

"Research files, the fact-checking she needs."

"Bullshit." It slipped my mouth. "Dave, I did all the fact-checking"

 _What was Rob thinking? Does he know something I don't?_

"Show me." He demanded seriously from my colleague.

"Come on, mate, please." Tahir asked nervously.

"Show me." Dave insisted before I could've said anything then some nerve-wrecking seconds were spent in silent.

"OK." He noted as I swung my crossed leg impatiently.

"What was in it?" I barked finally not being able to contain myself. I guess everyone was on the edge lately…

"A bunch of papers" He informed me. "False alarm." He added as I leaned back in my chair a bit more relaxed. I really hoped the speech is okay. I thought of everything, didn't I? I went through it so many times that I knew it by heart, it should be fine.

"Now that comes from a fair society that provides equal opportunity." Julia's voice brought me back to the present again as I turned my attention to her once more. "Security isn't just about guarding our citizens from security threats. Security comes from economic prosperity." She continued as I noticed Tahir behind the stage. He was clenching and unclenching his fists around the briefcase while he stared at Julia, being lost in thought. He was sweating and seemed anxious as he shifted his weight from one leg to another.

Something was wrong. I felt it in my bones. The speech was okay. More than that, Rob had no reason to send Tahir here.

"Lena, duck!" Dave's horrified yet firm order came out of thin air, but my body obeyed immediately, before I even had a chance to gather any further information. For a split second I still saw him and Kim running towards us, then an ear-splitting explosion shook the whole auditorium and everything turned black.

 **DDD**

 **Beep**.

A sharp noise echoed from far.

 **Beep** _ **.**_ **Beep**.

 _Is it already in the morning? Have I left my alarm on?_

 **Beep. Beep. Beep**.

 _Seriously, this sound is killing me! Where the hell is my phone?_

"She should be awake any minute now"

 _Who's talking? I don't remember living with another woman…_

"Thank you, doctor"

 _Dave! It's Dave! Finally someone I know! But this signal… Can't anyone just turn it off?_

My head felt like someone is trying to split it with a huge hammer.

"Dave" I mumbled, my own voice being raspy beyond recognition. I cleared my throat as I opened my eyes painfully.

"Lena!" He squeezed my hand immediately, letting me know he's right there. "My god, gorgeous, you scared me to death"

"Where are we?" I asked confused but before anyone could answer, it popped into my mind. "The speech! How is Julia?"

"Miss Osborne" A woman from earlier called me politely. "You're in the hospital, you've suffered acute head trauma in the explosion at the St Matthew's Collage." She answered quickly my question. "I'm Doctor Reed and I have to examine you for a bit" She added, already checking my pupils with her lamp. "Your full name?"

"Helena Osborne" I answered obediently, knowing that's the fastest way for me to be able to talk to David alone.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty eight"

"Do you know which year is it?"

"2018"

"You did recognise him, right?" She shows me Dave who now sends me an encouraging smile.

"He's David Budd, my…" I stopped thinking for a moment "Partner" I finished entwining my fingers with his sheepishly.

"Alright" She nodded with a light smile. "Please, squeeze my hands as strong as possible" She held out both of her hands for me as I did as she asked. "Okay. Now close your eyes and touch your nose with your right index finger" She ordered and once again, I nailed it with ease. "Now with the left. Perfect." She noted it with satisfaction and relief. "Seems like your brain recovered without having any major permanent damage. We still have to run a few tests, but the signs are promising" She ensured us. "You might feel dizzy and experience a mild migraine. It's normal and only the effect of the sedative you've been receiving. It will fade away in a couple of hours, so hang on. I'll be back soon to check on you, but meanwhile, press this button if you need anything." She quickly told before leaving the room discreetly.

"What happened?" I turned now to David concerned whose eyes glimmered with gathering tears.

"I'm so glad you're okay" He said faintly, pressing a devoted kiss on the back of my hand.

"Is Julia here too?" I continued, not giving up to find out the details as the growing, horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach made it impossible to enjoy his closeness.

"I thought I've lost you" He confessed, his words failing him. He was not himself. Whatever happened, broke him utterly.

"Oh, honey" I cupped his face wanting to take away all his pain. "I'll always be here with you. Always" I told him trying to get his attention, as me myself was fighting with the cry. "Do you understand?" I asked as he finally looked me in the eyes. "I'd never leave you" I whispered, biting back a whimper. I caressed his cheeks gently while he finally nodded and as I run my fingers over his temple to play with his hair, I froze. He had a wound there. First I thought it's from the explosion, but it was too… structured.

"What's this?"

"Ah, you know, a gas ring was playing up." He started as he leaned back, getting out of my touch. "I had my head right over the hob, I didn't realise the gas was open on one of the other rings." He shook his head, chuckling nervously. "When I hit the spark…"

"Just how stupid do you think am I?" I frowned, getting angry for good now. He was obviously lying and I had a hunch about the true reason. But I refused to believe he would've been that idiot. "What caused it? For real."

"Brass fragments."

"Fragments of what?"

"From the case." He said trying to avoid the answer as long as he was possible.

"What case?" I scoffed, running out of patience.

"The bullet case." His words burnt into my mind. So he was really that idiotic!

"Shit, Dave, what the fuck?" I yelped in horror as his face distorted in agony.

"I..." He started but quick enough he fell silent again. "She's dead, Lena. Julia's dead and the whole department is after me, because they think I'm responsible. Fuck it, it's all my fault" He added as tears were wetting both of our faces.

So the Home Secretary is gone. They did succeed in the end.

"But what about...? What about Ella and Charlie?"

"I was selfish, I know" He admitted it. "But I couldn't care less when they told me they had to put you in a coma and there's a great possibility you'll never recover fully. I just wasn't able to handle the idea of the world where you're not existing anymore. I'm still not."

I couldn't talk. Waves of sob shook my shoulders too violently as I grabbed his hand, holding onto it like my life's depending on it.

"You are my everything, love" He confessed, pressing his forehead to mine until my crying died down eventually.

I felt his hot breath on my skin, playing with all my senses then suddenly I leant forward, kissing him brazenly, without even a second of thinking. Fuck taking it slow. Fuck all the mistakes we were making all along the way. Fuck it all. We almost lost each other. We always think we have time, but we don't. Julia thought she has!

Dave's the one I wanted, and apparently, there was nothing to do about it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" I stopped as I sensed him tensing up, but I was immediately cut in mid-sentence by his mouth, devouring mine relentlessly. He grabbed my nape to pull me closer as I tried to keep up with his passion. My whole body went warm as our tongues slicked together, fighting a silent battle. His lips now travelled down on my neck, kissing its way to my collarbone as a tormented moan passed by my mouth, encouraging. In response he groaned longing while his talented hands rediscovered my curves thoroughly, slipping under my hospital gown.

I leaned back on the bed, pulling him with me as now he was atop my blazing body. The firm pressure of him made me feel alive. For a second he paused, just like sensing we're about crossing the line of no return and he looked at me questioning.

We were in a hospital where anyone could walked up on us easily and having sex probably would've been ill-advised in my condition, but I way passed the state where any of these bothered me even the slightest. I've been waiting enough.

"Please" I whispered barely audible, seeing him still hesitate then his expression softened, understanding my desperate need of him.

He closed the gap between us, his knees sliding between my thighs, kissing me again. Now slowly, with a sensual intensity that drove me even crazier, making me believe we really have all the time in the world.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11 – Hail Mary**

It was the fourth day spent in the hospital and I was itching to get out of here. Clearly I had no problem now, I was better than ever, and I knew I could be more useful outside. Fortunately tomorrow they would release me, fingers crossed.

Dave was with me as much as he could, but things got pretty hectic with the investigation going. There were too many disturbing facts. For example, someone tempered with his gun, changing the bullets to blanks, and even though I couldn't be happier for it, it was still a mystery. Then there was the bomb. It was planted under the stage. Whoever did it, needed some serious preparation and couldn't work alone. They had at least one inside man… But knowing the explosive wasn't in the briefcase, eased Dave's mind a bit. It wasn't his fault.

"What, do you have a date tonight?" I asked him teasing as he was checking his watch for the hundredth of times in the last thirty minutes.

"In fact" He started apologetic. "I have a lead. I have to go out for a meeting" He explained as I suddenly felt disappointed. He usually stayed the night, making my misery more bearable.

But of course, he was right. We had to take all opportunity to end this nightmare and live a normal life again.

"With who?"

"Chanel Dyson"

"Oh. I see." I folded my arms around my chest. I knew her. She was one of our colleague, but Julia threw her out, because she wasn't devoted enough. I never liked her. A real man-eater.

"It's not like a real date" He ensured me softly caressing my forearm.

"Does she know that too?" I scoffed, the green-eyed monster taking control, as I pulled away cautiously.

"Come on, love, you have nothing to be afraid of" He tried to calm me with a hint of amusement in his tone. He looked entertained by my jealousy and most probably I must've seemed ridiculous, but at the moment his attitude only angered me beyond description.

"Well, regarding your information-gathering technique I should be quite concerned, don't you think?" I asked bitterly in the heat of the moment. Last time he needed to know something, he ended up in Julia's bed.

Yet I regretted it right away as I saw the heart-breaking pain in his eyes. That was really low of me. What was I doing? We should've been a team, we should work together not turning against each other.

"I'm sorry." I shook my head defeated. "I shouldn't have said that..."

"No, you had every right to do so" He stepped closer again, his expression softening.

"Actually, no I hadn't" I said feeling guilty. Forgiveness is also a promise, never to use someone's past sins against them. "I'm just on the edge, I guess." I really wished this whole thing would end soon.

"I'll be the first one to pick you up in the morning and take you home." He vowed, pressing a loving kiss on my forehead. "Everything will be fine, my beautiful, trust me."

 **DDD**

The next morning couldn't come fast enough. I barely slept a few minutes. I was worried sick. First it was just a bad feeling about this meeting Dave had, but then as hours dragged by and I couldn't reach him on the phone, I had the worst scenarios playing in my mind. And he in Chanel's arms was one of the brightest.

"Miss Osborne" The doctor cleared her throat to get my attention. "Your papers." She handed me a few pages. The report on my condition and the treatments I've been through.

"Oh, thank you." I took them absentmindedly. "Am I good to go?" I asked. I had no words from David, but I hoped he would be waiting for me downstairs. At least that's what he promised, right?

"Yes, you're perfectly fine" She sent me an encouraging smile "Actually, both of you are." She added, her smile widening.

"What do you mean?" I frowned being lost. Did she know something about Dave? Is he really okay too?

"You and the baby" She answered getting confused as well.

"What baby?" The dumb question slipped my lips as my mind refused to put the puzzle together.

"You're five weeks pregnant." She said now seriously, her light-heartedness disappearing completely. "I'm very sorry, I thought you knew. I really thought that you and your partner…"

"Don't worry, it's alright." I forced a half-smile, sitting down on the bed. "It's alright. Alright" I repeated it as a mantra, while I felt the inevitable panic arise in my chest. Getting pregnant? Right now? This only could be a sick joke of the universe!

The door thumped loudly as the doctor left. I guess she fled from the embarrassing situation and I couldn't blame her.

I had no idea how much time passed since she left, but eventually she came back.

"I brought you some brochures" She approached me carefully. "Most of them are about pregnancy" She started handing them to me. "But you can also find info about what to do if you don't want to keep the baby" She added discreetly, with a sympathetic smile.

I felt like I've been dragged into an ice-cold shower. Not keeping the baby? That haven't even crossed my mind yet. Although I had to admit that in some aspects it would've been the easier decision. Ugh, I'm such a horrible person!

"Thank you" I told her nodding. It wasn't a matter of the now. I had to find David first.

Yet seemed like this day was turning out to be worse and worse as a female figure showed up at my door. Louise Rayburn. Sampson's man. Amazing.

"Whishing you the best, Miss Osborne" The doctor beckoned then left, leaving us alone.

"Is David alright?" I asked without any small talk, sudden nausea taking over me.

"I need you to come with me, Helena" She said, her tone full of frustration. I stared at her for a while, trying to read her, but the only thing I managed to figure out was that she's adamant enough not to answer me here at all.

I sighed nodding, accepting her terms.

"Lead the way"

 **DDD**

"How many times do I have to tell you that David has nothing to do with the murder of Julia?" I raised my voice getting enraged. The very reason they brought me here was because of Andy. They found out that the first one who attacked the Home Secretary was Dave's buddy. "That's exactly why he hasn't mentioned it"

"And why should we believe you? Seems like you could also be an associate. You knew it all along" Louise reasoned as I threw my hands in the air in my helplessness. Looked like it doesn't matter what I say...

"You should be outside, trying to find him. He's missing and most probably in danger. But no, you're witch-hunting. Congratulation!" I practically yelled at her, but she had no time to react since someone wanted to talk to her outside.

Only a few minutes later she came back, pale as death.

"Come on, we have to go" She ordered me strictly as my heart skipped a beat. It must be serious.

I was getting used to not being told anything as I was blankly staring out of the car's window. We were driving fast. Way too fast for everything being alright…

She pulled over at Saltmarsh Street. Louise get out quickly and so did I as I noticed bunch of other police cars parking there, everyone was wearing a kevlar vest.

 _What the hell?_

I looked around terrified. They reported David to be here, but I didn't see him.

"I need your full cooperation, Helena" Louise turned to me. "This could turn into a negotiation situation." She added making me frown. Negotiation? About what?

"I'm cooperating. Don't shoot!" I've heard the familiar voice as I spun around. David! His face was covered in blood and he was wearing a grey blanket around his shoulders. I instinctively took a step closer to him, but Louise pulled me back immediately.

"Armed police! Hands in the air!" Suddenly tens of men pointed their riffles at him, ready to shoot at the slightest wrong move.

"Don't shoot!" Dave repeated desperately.

"Hands in the air now!"

"I can't!"

"David, please do as we say! No-one needs to get hurt!" Craddock arrived at the scene too.

"I need to explain!" He tried to talk, but everyone was on the edge. This wouldn't end well. Only one of the armed man's hand needs to tremble…

"David, please. Raise your hands!" I pleaded, panic arising in me, threatening me with suffocation. He looked at me, trying to communicate silently, then he let the blanket drop revealing his hands.

Jesus, he was in a suicide bomb vest!

" _Shit! Pull back! Clear the area!"_ I've heard all the commands from around while I froze completely. Time seemed to slow down as chaos grow with every second.

"David, don't move! Stay perfectly still!"

"It's a dead man's switch! Anything happens to me, it'll go off. I didn't do this! You need to believe me." He said in terror too. He was aware of the fragility of the situation.

I couldn't think straight. I knew this meeting was a bad idea, but even in those nightmares I couldn't imagine this.

"Was it Chanel?" I raised my voice so Dave would hear me.

"Helena, quiet" Louise retorted angrily.

"Who did she work with?" I continued, ignoring the order, trying to find out what happened for real. Chanel shouldn't be able to pull this off alone.

"Another word and I'll remove you!" Rayburn threatened me again.

"Look, Dave went out for a meeting with Chanel Dyson, last night. He thought she might be involved somehow." I turned to her explaining this nonsense, but she acted like I'm not even there. "Check her!" I asked not so nicely but she just scoffed.

"I don't believe a word you say"

Louise now turned around to arrange the next steps as I kept standing there dumbfounded. This will be harder than I thought.

A minute passed as they decided to move David to a less crowded place, in case of an explosion. A lovely little park. In different circumstances I would've enjoyed it.

"Require critical shot authorisation." A man on my left spoke to the radio.

"What?" I barked horrified. "What the fuck?" That meant nothing good.

"Are we safe to get a radio to him?" Craddock asked Louise just like I'm not even there. "If we're going to get him to surrender, we'll need to be able to talk." She explained as she noticed Louise pale face. She gulped hard, trying to find someone who could do the job, but then she realized it's her task.

"Oh, for Christ's sake" I murmured, taking out the radio of her hand then slowly headed to Dave. How could they treat him like this? Like the worst enemy... Pathetic!

"What the hell are you doing? Come back right now!" Louise screamed, but kept moving.

"Stop there and put the radio down" Craddock told me in a calmer manner. I was about half way there. I'm not going to lie, I really wanted to meet Dave up close, to reassure him, to see if he's doing fine – as much as it was possible in circumstances like this - but I understood their concern.

I sighed and obeyed.

"Now come back" Louise added as I grinded my teeth. I swear I'm gonna kick her in the gut today...

"Pick up the radio! Back to back on two." Craddock informed him. "David, please listen to me very carefully. I really hope this can be resolved with no-one getting hurt. For your own sake, for your family and colleagues, please give yourself up." She told him applying to his softer side, as I looked up to the skies. They still didn't understand. It's not the matter of will. He would be the happiest person to take off that stupid bomb.

"Ma'am, I've tried to remove the vest. It's booby-trapped with co-ax connectors across the clasps. They're wired to the control unit."

"I give you my solemn promise your previous good service and the effect of your recent traumatic experiences will be taken into account."

"Ma'am, you're not listening to me."

My thoughts exactly… But I decided to stay quiet. Maybe Dave can convince them

"I was knocked unconscious. When I came round I was in this vest with my thumb taped to the DMS."

"David, you've got to be straight with us. You hid your relationship with Apsted. You hid your involvement in Julia Montague's assassination." Craddock faced him with the facts. It sure did backfired him, but telling them at the first place would've meant his professional suicide.

"I had nothing to do with Julia's assassination, nothing! I tried to save her!"

"David, you've betrayed everyone's trust. We won't be fooled again." She shook her head determined as I couldn't hold back anymore.

"He's telling the truth!"

"I'm sorry, David, Helena, I did my best for you." Craddock gave up, turning around.

"What? Your best? What are you doing?" We heard David desperate voice via the radio.

"This is an SO15 operation." She beckoned to Louise as I run my hand through my hair, lost.

"David, let's try and stay calm, yeah? David, are you receiving me?" Louise took over the communication.

"Just get Expo here, Louise, please, get me out of this thing."

"Stay still and keep your hands where we can see them."

"His hand is on the DMS. What's the matter with you? Are you fucking blind?" I cried out starting to lose hope.

"I'm being set up! The people that did this to me, they're the ones who killed Julia!" Dave added. "Louise, I know I betrayed your trust. I lied about Andy Apsted. But if I'd come clean, I'd have been the fall guy and the people that really killed Julia would have gotten away with it. I didn't wanted to lie. I had to!"

" _Critical shot authorised_."

Shit! We have to end this now. This was the last step. The snipers had all the permission needed to shoot David without a problem.

"Any idea what kind of explosive's in the device?" Louise's boss arrived to the scene too. Oh, great, he never really liked David…

"Not yet, no, boss, and I wouldn't hold much store in Budd's answers either. It's been a stream of bullshit since day one." She spitted with too much bitterness.

"All right, Louise, I hear you, but let's lower the temperature a bit." Sharma warned her then he asked David about the device. Dave told him too what he knew, but Sharma seemed sceptical as well.

"You understand our doubts here, mate? Our inquiries have led us to the probability of an inside man within the force who conspired in the security breaches necessary to assassinate the Home Secretary."

"I'm not the inside man!"

"But here you are, wearing the exact same PBIED employed by an active terror cell."

"This is how it happened, sir. I was contacted by Chanel Dyson. She set a trap. I was ambushed by Luke Aikens and put into this vest, to frame me, to point the finger away from Organised Crime." He explained.

Finally, we are going somewhere! I thought, feeling the tiniest hint of relieve. They have to look it up, right?

"You keep asking us to believe you, David, and now you're telling us you're arranging a secret meeting with one of the suspects." Louise declined again.

"I was trying to trace Andy Apsted's PSL rifle! It was supplied by Luke Aikens. It was his men that broke into my flat. I used a pistol I brought back from Afghanistan as bait. Luke knew all about it. Knew it had been tampered with."

"He's telling the truth. The pistol, someone tampered with the bullets, they replaced them with blanks." I confirmed it and this time Sharma seemed to consider my statement.

"How do you know this?" He asked. I knew it's not something David want everyone to know about, but telling his story was still better than letting him being killed. I took a deep breath and continued.

"After the Home Secretary died and I was in the hospital, David tried to shoot himself. But, why would he try and shoot himself with a blank, unless he didn't realise the gun had been tampered with?" I asked logically. I saw the detective taking in my words, his mind working fast then he nodded seriously.

"Thank you. David, clearly we need to look into this further. But we're being told that you're suicidal, and now here you are in a suicide vest."

"No, no, no! That's not it, that's not the point here!"

"Where's this pistol now, mate? You got it with you?" Sharma asked.

"No, Luke's men seized it before they fitted the vest. Look, forget the pistol, it's the blank rounds that are proof. I've still got them. They're hidden in my flat. Maybe you can pull DNA, prints from them that are going to link it back to Luke's men." He said quickly. "The tablet." He added. "The one with all the content of what the Home Secretary received."

"Where is it, David?"

"My flat, downstairs, in the bathroom, above a spotlight." He said as Sharma gave the order for the search. Right after that Dave signalled to switch into channel four. "Security Service may be monitoring this, so do not share via any regular channels. Advise search team not to tamper with the spotlight, to hold back from entering the property."

It only took a few minutes. Nothing more. Still it felt like a whole eternity, till we received any new.

"One in custody. Matching e-fit of Richard Longcross." Sharma announced as I felt tears of joy rolling down on my cheeks. We would be alright. Now they have to believe him! "Hold Expo." He ordered to all of our surprise.

"They need to get this thing off me!"

"I would if I could, mate, but you know the drill. There's a risk you'll trigger the device to take them with you. I don't want anyone here getting hurt." He explained and for a moment I saw genuine sorry on his face. That didn't help much though…

"I want to talk to Lena. It might be the last chance I get. Please." Dave requested, his voice failing him.

"Please, don't give up" I murmured as the urge to breakdown and cry numbed me.

"I've failed you, Lena, I know that." He started as soon as I got the radio. "I'm sorry for what I've put you through. I'm sorry I've stopped being the man you met." He continued as I wasn't able to contain myself anymore. My whole body was shaking uncontrollably as I cried. "You've always been there for me, even on my worst days and I've tried to explain, I really did... but part of me never wants to explain what the war did to me." He confessed. "I never wanted it to touch you, or us, but it has. I never wanted you to experience that torture, yet I wasn't able to prevent it. I should've protected you, my love, but instead I've let you down. I'm so sorry." He finished sobbing too. "Please tell the kids, I love them so much" He managed to add as I pressed my hand on my mouth to quieten my whimpers.

 _Am I supposed to tell this to our child too?_

"Help him! Why won't you help him? Please." I pleaded to Sharma, who looked deeply disturbed. David had to live. He had so much thing to do, he had to see his children grow up. All of them!

"Let me examine the device, sir." The EXPO asked and the detective nodded in the end.

"Thank you, thank you!" I almost jumped in his arms as the weight on my chest has been lifted in a second.

He approached David carefully then took a throughout look at the device. I couldn't hear a thing and it was killing me. Is it possible to disarm? Can he do it here and now? Maybe just a few more minutes and I can hold him in my arms!

Yet all my optimism vanished as the EXPO retreated without doing anything.

"Budd's device appears to be the work of the original bomb-maker." He started the report. "It's impossible to tell if he put it on himself or someone did it to him. I read the report on the 1/10 device. This is equally sophisticated."

"Can it be defused?" I asked eagerly.

"I can try, but there's an extremely high risk of detonation." He told me shattering all of my faith.

"This is Anne Sampson, David. Tell us, are there other bombers at large?" She interrupted us, but honestly, I wasn't paying much attention. Everything was lost. They are not going to try. They will shoot David, because it's easier. I knew that from the train-attack. They would've shoot that woman without a blink of an eye too. "We've got no idea of the power of the device or how long he can hold the DMS. Added to which, Budd's got a history of deception and is highly likely to be the inside man who's enabled this conspiracy." Sampson turned to Sharma, taking the radio away. "Get everyone to pull back outside the cordons and then we'll re-spin the wheel."

"Ma'am." He looked at her in disbelief, but agreed eventually. "Everyone pull back! Pull back." He commanded with a heavy heart.

"What? No! David!" I screamed panicking. "You have to try to save him! You can't just kill him like this!"

"Pull back to a safe distance, please." He told me holding both of my arms, trying to push me backwards as gently as possible. I glanced at David

"If I stay put, she'll order the shot. If I run, she'll do the same." He noted bitterly. "I love you." He confessed barely audible, accepting his fate.

 _Not until I'm breathing, no way!_

"All the easier to pin everything on David when he's dead." I turned back to Sharma quickly, wanting to reason. "You seem like a man of logic. You know it makes no sense. Why kill off David right now? Why don't even give a try? I mean I'm sure there's a way to disarm the bomb from the safe distance." I continued as his silence encouraged me. He even stopped to usher me out from the scene "Think! What if Sampson's the one with links to Luke Aikens?" I asked pleading _. Come on, mate, help me out a bit!_ "Just let me go" I whispered. "Please" He looked into my eyes, and fortunately what he found there must've been satisfying since his grip loosened.

Without thinking it through properly, I made a run for it.

"No! Stop! Stop her!" I've heard all the shouting but I didn't look back. I run right next to David, who seemed just as shocked as everyone else.

I felt all the guns pointed at us, and it was indeed horrifying. But that was our best shot.

I saw Sampson's face from meters away. She looked at me coldly, and I was sure she's about to give the order to kill us both. Actually she could always tell the press that I was in it too.

"You're not going to shoot a pregnant woman" I held my chin high confidently, yet in the inside, I was trembling. What if I was wrong? "Otherwise, I can guarantee, the news would love it!"

For a moment I noticed Sampson's expression changing as she swore under her breath.

"What are you doing, my love?" Dave asked fighting the desperate need to hug, touch and feel me close.

"Hail Mary?" I sent him a weak smile as he nodded slowly, understanding that this is my last effort to give him a chance to prove his right and save us both.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12 – All's well**

"So what now?" I asked releasing a deep breath. We were safe, for now at least. They won't shoot us, otherwise they would've done it already.

"Stay close." Dave told me, and I saw in his eyes that he has a plan. Probably just as crazy as mine was, but I didn't care. Desperate times, they say... "We walk." He added, turning slowly around as I followed him in sync.

The others weren't exactly happy on the other side, but they could do nothing. I've heard them discuss the safety protocols from the distance while we carefully left the park.

"Help us out here, mate. Where are you going?" Sharma questioned via the radio. They wanted to secure our route.

"My flat. Long walk ahead." David answered as I looked at him. He was determined, focused and totally in the zone, leading us to the device the Home Secretary got. He was a soldier once more, with an impossible mission to complete.

I wanted to squeeze his hand. To tell him how much I love him, and I couldn't care less what would happen, because he was right here, with me. But I was afraid. I didn't want to disturb him, or snap him out of this concentration.

"I won't fail you again, my love" He suddenly started to speak, making me almost jump out of my skin, but my expression softened as I saw his painful, distorted face.

"You never did, honey" I ensured him. Our relationship had its ups and downs, I'm not talking about just the incident with Julia, and definitely not just on David's side. I had my fair share of stupidity all along the years, for sure, but we always managed to stick together, overcoming every difficulty. And that's what mattered.

Two police motors accompanied us in the front, two in the back, a helicopter in the air and a good couple of snipers all around us. It was very cheerful…

"How are you holding up?" I asked Dave as we almost arrived home.

"My hand is in spasm" He confessed tiredly.

"We're almost there" I said, spotting our door.

"Alright, beautiful, I need you to go inside." He started the instructions as we stopped at the entrance. "It's okay, it's completely safe." He added, calming me down. "Get the ropes"

"Ropes? For what?" I frowned puzzled.

"And the spade" He said as I nodded. This wasn't the time for long explanations.

I found the requested items fast and went back to Dave.

"Good, now climb down there. I hid it in the ground." He said as I raised my brows. There was a wall which he showed and a few meters deeper there was another level of a park.

I took a deep breath, knotting the rope to the railing and starting to descend. I wasn't really great in these kind of things, but I managed quite well. I didn't even had to dig too deep, the spade knocked onto something hard.

"There's something in a black plastic bag" I informed Dave.

"That's it, love." He confirmed with a small smile, as I climbed back immediately, now with the device.

"This is the evidence." Dave spoke to the radio. "The original tablet containing the kompromat. It'll prove the Security Service was involved. The blank rounds that were smuggled into my pistol, they'll prove Organised Crime were, too."

"Alright" Sharma and the Louise came closer a bit. "Send Helena to us with the evidence." He said calmly.

"No, Dave, if I go, they can shoot you." I opposed fervently.

"I don't know how much longer I can hold the DMS." David started to the radio again. "This vest is crucial evidence. The others all got blown up. If forensics got a chance to examine this, it might lead us back to the bomb-maker. Prevent further attacks." He explained and I crossed my fingers, hoping with all my heart for it to work.

I saw Louise bark something to Sharma, probably in disapproving. That bitch again!

"I'll send Lena to you with the evidence." Dave added.

"I'm not going to leave you, you can bet on that!" I raised my voice to get his attention, but he was only focusing on Sharma. I scoffed in disbelief. I wasn't risking everything so that they now can kill him easily and get all the rewards.

"If you give me a chance to defuse this." Dave set the terms.

"How do you know I'll keep my side?" Sharma asked.

"Exactly!" I agreed with him. There was no guarantee for it.

"I've been a soldier, I've been a copper. You get to spot a bloke whose word's his bond." Dave said as now they practically made the deal without hearing me out. "Lena, my love" Dave turned to me, lowering the radio as the EXPO started to make the necessary preparations. "I want you to be happy" He started as I shook my head. "If anything happens to me…"

"No, no, no, no" I interrupted him sobbing again.

"If anything happens to me, I forbid you to mourn too long."

"Please, don't say that" I casted my eyes down, defeated.

"I had everything anyone can wish for. You and the kids made me the happiest person ever." He continued, clearing his throat. "Would you visit them sometimes for me? I don't want Ella and Charlie to lose the both of us." He could barely finish his sentence as his voice failed him, tears washing his face. As about me, I was crying like baby too, yet I managed to speak somehow.

"Of course"

"I've laid out what you'll need." The specialist finally arrived here, showing Dave all the equipment. "The robot's coming up to you, so I can talk you through it." He added, the machine approaching as he told.

"Thank you." We said in union then I turned to David.

"Go." He simply sent me away as we locked eyes for one last time. I looked at him pleading. Every inch of me screamed for me to stay, but I knew the sooner they start to defuse the bomb is the better.

I stepped close to him and quickly placed my lips on his. I needed to feel him just once more.

He pressed closer just as desperately, as for a moment I let the world vanish, letting myself go perfectly in our last kiss.

"You owe me a date, Chief" I murmured quietly, pulling away, still feeling the metallic taste of the blood on my mouth which covered the half of his face.

"Pick a restaurant, Pipsqueak. For tonight" He answered with a half-smile then I hesitantly turned around to follow the EXPO back, constantly checking David too above my shoulder.

"To me, Helena." Sharma said as I walked up to him, giving the hard drive to him. "Thanks." He nodded, passing it further for examination.

I stood next to the detective, tense as ever, waiting for the EXPO to start the procedure.

"Get Lena away." David said distantly, getting ready for the worst. "She shouldn't have to watch." He explained betraying me.

"I'm not leaving, David, forget it" I shouted at him immediately as Sharma placed a hand on my forearm.

"Helena" Sharma called me softly, yet strict, pushing me aside gently to another policeman.

"No, I'm staying!" I screamed almost hysterically, yanking my hand free.

"We'll be in contact in every second, I promise, but it's safer at the Precinct" Sharma said, trying to convince me. "It's better for the baby too" He reasoned as I finally gave in. He was right. I'm not alone anymore, I thought as I finally let myself being led away.

It was the longest and most torturing few minutes of my life. And stating this by someone who had been kidnapped, it says a lot. Not to mention the agony of the following few hours when David was on the run. Again.

"Stop thinking, gorgeous, I'm right here" David told me lovingly, tightening his arms around my waist as I was sitting in his lap.

It was over. He found Atkins and turned out that Craddock was the one who worked with the man. With Dave's help, they managed to capture the both of them. As the matter of fact, Craddock was now interrogated which we watched via the cameras. I wasn't paying too much attention to it though. I just tried to progress that finally we were safe. We did it. It was a close call, for sure, but it didn't matter anymore.

"I know" I leaned back, pressing myself against his chest. I couldn't get him close enough. I almost lost him today.

I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply, relishing his familiar scent that meant home.

"I'm not going anywhere" He ensured me, placing a kiss on my nape.

"You bloody better not so" I noted seriously, turning back to face him as I earned a genuine chuckle with my remark.

He caressed my cheek silently, his thumb then tracing the contour of my lower lip as burning heat rose in my chest at the sudden sensation. He leaned closer, taking his time, just like he wanted to memorize all my lineaments, before he kissed me leisurely. Our lips moved in sync confessing untold stories, emotions that we bottled up till now. His hand travelled up on my back, finding its way under my shirt. Things started to heat up between us quickly and I was sure if we weren't in the Precinct this could only have one conclusion, but now I pulled away, resting my forehead on his.

"Thank you for saving me" David said gratefully.

"You would've done the same" I sent him a warm smile leaning my back to his chest again, snuggling up to him comfortably.

For a moment silence settled, bringing unusual tranquillity with itself as I sighed contently.

"By the way, it was a smart idea." He started nonchalantly, pulling me closer. "The pregnant-woman card." He continued as I stiffened up in his arms. The baby! I forgot it completely! "I wasn't sure they gonna buy it, but you bluffed good" He complimented me while an abrupt sickness took me over. "Are you cold? You're trembling, love"

"No, it's okay" I stood up, not being able to sit in his lap furthermore. "Just my stomach, don't worry" I added, walking up to the window while I took deep breathes to smooth my nerves. _It will be fine, Lena, he loves you. Stop being a wuss!_

"What's wrong, my beautiful?" He frowned, stepping closer to me. "You know you can tell me anything" He reassured me reading my silence.

"It is true" I finally started. "I wasn't bluffing." I said seeing his expression changing as he slowly put the picture together.

"Do you mean…"

"I'm pregnant. For real" I said it out loud quickly. Like with the bandage. It hurt less. At least that's what they say. "The doctor told me this morning, before I left."

"God, Lena" He sighed relieved, closing me in a bone-crushing hug. "So we're gonna have a baby!" He stated it in disbelief.

"Yeah. Well, at least if you want it too." I decided to keep it anyway, but I didn't want to force David into anything.

"Are you kidding?" He cupped my face as tears of true happiness rolled down on his cheek. "I want nothing more" He said, his mouth swooping in to steal another kiss. I grinned against his lips, folding my arms around his neck as he lifted me up spinning me around. I let out a quiet squeak in surprise then I felt his muscles tensing up.

"It's yours" I understood his concerns immediately. "I'm only five week old, beside, the contraception pill worked" I explained. I did the math too. It couldn't be from my rapist, thank god!

He pulled away just to look at me. His eyes were full of resentment and guilt.

"It's okay" I whispered. I wasn't angry at him for considering the option, especially since it was one of my first thought too. I mean right after the absolute shock...

Before I could say anything else, his mouth was on mine again, wild with desire, telling me everything I needed to know.

Everything will be fine, I had no doubt about it anymore.


	13. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE - 3 months later**

"Come on, I know you want it!" Dave insisted for a hundredth of times yet I shook my head, determined to resist at all cost.

"No, I don't"

The least thing I wanted was to look like a complete freak. It was hard enough for him to bear me with all the morning sickness, which is a complete lie by the way. Morning, right. More like all-day sickness. But these cravings...

"You know, I know you, love" He continued softly and he was right. Somehow he had a sixth sense to read my desires perfectly. "Even I'll try it" He encouraged me grabbing a French fry.

"Okay, fine, that won't be necessary" I gave in seeing his determination then I took the potato out of his hand, sticking it into the vanilla ice-cream. "What?" I asked already enjoying the weird combination. I had no idea what's going on with me exactly, but I loved this sweet-salty stuff! "Don't judge me" I noted getting self-conscious as he just laughed out honestly.

"I'd never do that, my beautiful" He ensured me, interlocking his fingers with mine as we continued ambling towards the London Eye.

"Aren't you afraid though?" I started teasing. "Being utterly outnumbered by girls?"

We just found out that we are expecting a baby girl.

"Nah, Charlie and me can easily handle you" He shrugged it off nonchalantly.

"Is that so?"

"Hm. First of all, Charlie already can get anything from you. I have an inside man." He explained confidently. "Second of all, you can't resist me" He stopped, eventually finding a spot with great view to the Thames. He pulled me in as his arms rested on my waist loosely. "See, it's easy."

"You've got it all figured out, haven't you?" I chuckled, letting him win this round as my thoughts wandered to a different direction. "Do you think it will be fine?"

I was concerned. They haven't even divorced yet officially, and now Ella and Charlie will get a new sister. It could be a tricky time for them. I didn't want them to feel like losing David.

"Absolutely" Dave nodded thoughtfully. "You already love them as yours. It won't really be any different, besides that they'll get another partner in crime" He said calmly, soothing my nerves as well. "On that note though" He took a deep breath. "I know that the papers are not finished yet with Vicky, but I want you to know how serious I am" He added, slowly kneeling down in front of me. "Helena Osborne, will you marry me?" He asked taking out a little box of his pocket with a classy engagement ring.

"Oh, honey" I started being loss of words for a second as I crouched down to him. "I know how you feel, you don't have to do this" I told him, caressing his cheek. I would've been the happiest girl in the world to be his wife, but I didn't want him to do it because I'm pregnant. We will have enough time later, if we still would like to.

"Actually, I also wanted to show you something." He said with a smile, not being offended at all as he took out now a tiny bag. I looked at him frowning as we stayed on the ground, earning some curious looks from the passer byers. "Open it" He encouraged me as I obeyed. It was a simple metal-ring. "You know what it is?" He asked a fond smile creeping across his face.

Of course I did!

"Are you kidding?" I grinned ear to ear. "That's when I _convinced_ you to marry me. I think I was nine and you were twelve, right?" My big nemesis, Tamara was showing off with her boyfriend everywhere. I was so pissed! I had to teach her a lesson.

"Convinced?" He questioned it with his bows raised as I laughed out loud.

"Well alright, it was more like a forcing thing." I admitted it. I remember threatening him with all the torturous stuffs if he wasn't complying. Thinking back I probably wasn't so frightening, though…"But you did it anyway" I added nostalgically.

"Yeah, I did."

"We were so silly back then" I noted as we locked eyes. "I can't believe you kept it all those years." I shook my head feeling touched.

"I guess part of me never gave up hoping" He confessed seriously as I gulped hard. "Lena, I don't want to marry you because of our baby" He continued, holding my hand. "I want to marry you, because I can't imagine my life with anyone else, I hope you understand it now" He said as I couldn't speak anymore, tears of joy choking on my throat. I nodded biting back a whimper. "Would you walk down on the aisle with me? For real now?" He asked again as now I jumped into his arms, folding my arms around his neck.

"Yes." I said quietly. "Yes, yes, yes!" I repeated it louder and louder until the whole square heard me. If it was me, the whole world, the universe would've heard me. We've been through all the seven hells, but maybe we had to just to be together and live happily ever after.

 _ **Author's Note**_ _: Thank you very much for reading and following through Lena and David's story! Hope you enjoyed it! Any comments and votes are appreciated, I'd love to hear your opinion. Thank you again, you guys are the best!_


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